Was feeling kind of stuck and unproductive the past couple of weeks. The not having any school/work is kind new to me and I was both busy all the time doing things a bit all over the place while not being productive and disciplined like I would like to. Went volunteering to this real cool place with my friend today (havn't been there in more than a year) and it kinda got me out of my head for a bit which was nice. I was stuck on a loop of "what should I do with my life", "how do I want to make monies" and "who am I" which was getting kind of tiring. Feeling better, gonna commit to going there weekly now. It's mostly chopping vegetables which almost feels like meditation when you got 100 peppers. Speaking of meditation, I was thinking about going on that 10 days Silent Meditation retreat thing but feeling unsure about it. Anyone ever done that? I'm not quite sure what I'd like to get out of it but at least I figured after 10 days I'd know if Meditation is my thing or not once and for all. Or maybe I'm a special kind of masochist that wants to test if I can shut up for 10 days. Or I'm secretly hoping for an epiphany? I don't know. Adulting is confusing.
Transition period. Chopping vegetables IS meditating. Leave the 10-day retreat for after you have that high-powered corporate job and haven't taken a vacation in 5 years. An analogy: Work two 24-hour days straight, in a suit, in high-powered business environment, powered by nothing more than coffee and cold takeout food. Super high-pressure. Stress. Aggravation. Irritation. GRRR! Then, leave the office, find a swimming pool, and jump in while still wearing your suit and heels and with your iPhone in your pocket. BAM! That is meditation. When you have been running too fast, too far, and not eating well, and stressing out, and all that... meditation will help you find your center, and get you balanced again. Meditation is not very useful when you are chill. And right now, as you spend time considering your future, trying to figure out what to do next, etc, you are already inside your own head and heart, and you are very present and connected with yourself. All meditation can do for you at that point is provide some marginal gains. Maybe chill you out a little further. Or whatever. It isn't the shaking-the-snow-globe kind of reset that a 10-day retreat is supposed to be. Sounds to me like you are in the perfect place right now... receptors open... eyes wide... looking at the world... seeking the patterns that will vibe with who you are... Keep it up. You are on the right track. Just remember that the right answers don't tend to be the easy ones.
:) you're right, great advice! Like always. The meditation thing is just something I want to do at some point for sure and it felt like an easy one to check off the bucket list since I have plenty of time. Probably won't do much good tho. Most people I talked to that said it changed their lives said something about being anxious or kinda depressed before going which I'm not (yet). I'll chop some veggies in the meantime. I can't belive I'm brewing kombucha, eating oatmeal, friends with some mushroom eating weirdoes and thinking about meditation. My teenage self would cringe. Am I gonna be a hippie or something in 10 years!?