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comment by _refugee_
_refugee_  ·  2960 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Hubski. Show me your body modifications!

Yay stories!

In order of application:

1.

My first tattoo. I got this with female friend M at a local shop we'll call TM. Probably cost about $80. Is an impossible four-bar or pascal's square. Was winter when I was 19.

2.

My most typical white girl tattoo. Got with boyfriend A at shop which no longer exists in this state, First World (or something like that). Was my 20th birthday present to me. Probably around $100?

3.

One of the ones randos notice the most. The short story is that when I was 20, I got engaged. We decided it would be an awesome idea to get matching tattoo bands. Had to canvas like, 8 shops before we would find one that would do it. This shop was in MD, not sure what the name was. Actually, think it may have been shut down due to code violations since. The fiancé had found this particular shop and when asking if they did ring tattoos, he was told "oh yeah absolutely, we can do detailed patterns" - by an employee who it turned out was an apprentice and didn't really know what he was talking about. Most shops won't do ring tattoos due to fear of them falling out and the ones I'd found that would, would only do a simple black band. Anyway, the apprentice basically fucked one of the skilled tattoo artists there into delivering 2 detailed ring tattoos - and for a really low price (the apprentice had also severely underquoted). I think the pair ran around $200. The joke is that most shops refuse to do ring tattoos because "they don't last," but I've had this one for going on 7 years now and it hasn't show any substantial fading or falling out at all. Too bad, because I wouldn't mind it. Spring when I was 20.

4. and 9.

4. is the Mandelbrot set - AKA the orange and red fractal. I got it with my tax return in March/April-ish of 2013. I had broken up with my long-term boyfriend (we'd lived together) and I was determined to get this tattoo on my own, to prove something to myself. I planned to go back to First World, but it turned out they'd closed shop and moved to FL, so I simply remembered another nearby tattoo shop that had always "looked cool," called them, and had an appointment set up ASAP. I was so nervous beforehand I kept having to use the bathroom even though I didn't have anything left in me. Also, this is a stupid strategy for choosing tattoo shops. Turned out the guy was a notorious racist and Satanist (tried to invite me to a Satanist - rite, I guess?) who also was shit at tattooing. He wouldn't even bring the color up to the line. I had to get this one retouched at a well-known shop about a year later. During this visit I also got him to pierce my eyebrow (so that's another one). Originally, the tat was so bad that when I went to get it touched up the artist thought I had gotten it by an amateur with a tat gun at a house party.

5.

If I had to name one, this would be my "fan favorite" tattoo. It gains the most comments (I think) and compliments. It is also one of my favorites. I got this at TM with friend M again, in the fall of 2013. I drew this myself. (Most of my tattoos I have drawn myself with the exception of the script and the ring.)

6.

A reference to one of my favorite articles, Life as a NonViolent Psychopath I got this at TM in the early months of 2015. This is the only tattoo that made me involuntarily flinch at one point. This tattoo has been discussed in more detail in a similar Hubski thread from a long time ago, which I'll link to if I can find it. Found it here

7 & 8.

Got these at TM in early October 2015 accompanied by my sister. This set is, I feel, among the most personal of my tattoos, so I sometimes feel self-conscious about how it is so visible. However, the location is perfect and where I believe it should go. It's just - sometimes, you can see people reading them. That being said, and to address your septum ring "however"s: your body modifications are about you, and your body. It's actually no one's business what my wrist tattoos say. The person who would see them and judge me for them, instead of asking me about them or not forming an opinion, is a person I do not want to have in my life because they don't share the same values as I do (that tattoos do not impact the quality of a person or their work) and would rather write me off for my tattoos than learn anything about them, what they mean to me, or who I am as a person and why I got them.

That being said, I got these right before my mom's birthday and when we went out to celebrate I wore long sleeves and hid them from her - both because I didn't want to ruin her birthday or make it about me, and because I didn't want to deal with her reaction. I still haven't told her about them or shown them to her. I know she knows they're there (thanks, siblings) but I have absolutely 0 interest in hearing her opinion on them or talking to her about them (as I know it will be negative and judgmental). I won't hide them from her forever, and have gradually become more casual about them in front of her over time, but I have no desire to even open up the topic of them as a discussion topic. I don't want her opinion, so I've done what I can to make it so that she can't/won't give me it. Clearly I feel really strongly about these tattoos, but I also, again very strongly, feel that your body is your own, that no one else has the right to try to tell you what's right/wrong to do with it (in terms of minor body mods), and that family members who feel they can pass judgment on you because of them are way overstepping their bounds. Also fwiw it's really easy to hide a septum, like you said just flip it up.

9. This is my sibling elbow macaroni tattoo, both my siblings and I have them and got them at TM at the same time, Christmas of this year. Before this neither of my siblings had any tattoos, so I corrupted them! :)

____

As for your septum and other people's opinions:

1. No matter what you do or how you look or live, there will probably be someone out there who will find something about it weird or gross. Their opinion isn't what matters.

2. Anyone who would not want to be with you because you got a septum piercing is a person you do not want to date anyway. That is a person who would care more about one small part of your appearance than everything underneath it, which is to say - everything you actually are, your thoughts, feelings, emotions and actions. Moreover, you clearly think septum are cool! Why worry about people who don't? It can be hard to always be confident in this mindset but I do think it's best to consider "people who wouldn't date me because I changed my appearance like [x]" to be a set of people who are doing you the favor of sorting themselves out of your potential dating pool and saving you time. I have heard that "most guys hate bangs" and would not date a girl with bangs. If I want bangs, I'm going to get them, and if you don't want to date me because I have them, well that's kind of your hang up, isn't it?

Listen. I have more non-tattoo body mods than discussed here. Like your nipple piercings, some of them in some ways impact my actual sexy bits. I like what I've done to my body and they make my life not only better, but easier from a health standpoint. If I met someone who was turned off by my mods, well guess what? a) I can't undo them and b) I wouldn't want to. If someone else doesn't like them, that is their problem, not mine, and I will go happily along until I find someone who loves both my body, and what I've done to it.

Do what makes you happy and what makes you feel like you. In the long run if you decide you don't want it, you can take it out and no one will ever even know you had a septum piercing. And in the intermediate, it's very easy to flip up and hide from authority - I think you have nothing to worry about.

End story time.

EDIT: Also, the people who are telling you not to get it because you'll be less/unattractive to any/most potential dating partners are complete assholes who are prioritizing their personal standards of attraction over how getting a septum piercing would make you feel about yourself. There are a zillion guys who will date girls with septum rings and half of them probably find the piercing makes girls even more attractive or etc. Anyone who tells you you should not change or modify such minor details about your body because "men will not be attracted to you" is an asshole who thinks that it is more important for you to be considered conventionally sexually attractive by a faceless, nameless population of most/all men, than for you to express yourself and your ownership of your body. You didn't ask them what "most men" would think. You only asked them (assuming you did) what they thought. And to respond by giving their opinion this faceless, nameless backing of "nearly all men" is complete and utter bullshit, an attempted power move.

The people who tell you not to do something because you will be less sexually attractive are showing that they think your sexual attractiveness is more important than anything else.

Fuck. Them.





user-inactivated  ·  2959 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Unfortunately I am going to fall into the predictable crowd and mention (again?) how much I like that fish.

_refugee_  ·  2959 days ago  ·  link  ·  

It's okay, it's among my top favorites too, maybe even my #1. It definitely has the most personality and makes me smile the most.

goo  ·  2959 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Hooray! Thanks for the story - I love hearing the back story about tats. For what it's worth, your white girl tattoo is awesome! And your ring was such a journey, sometimes those are the best ones! Which ones hurt the most? (I imagine the finger one)

Thank you so much for reassurance. That's the kind of thing I've been trying to articulate but couldn't explain! I suppose it's that struggle of being young and transitioning from that "I want to fit in and have everyone like me" frame of mind to "I think this is cool and it suits me." It's weird how little we hear that individuality is okay from other people. A lot of the people I've talked to seem to have their image of how everyone should look according to their own standards.

You've inspired me! I'll for sure be getting my septum done. I'll be waiting until September (I have a fairly strict office internship this summer), but perhaps I'll post a follow-up if I remember!

user-inactivated  ·  2959 days ago  ·  link  ·  

The Mandelbrot set is awesome, inept artist or no.

elizabeth  ·  2959 days ago  ·  link  ·  

    "most guys hate bangs" and would not date a girl with bangs.

what kind of ridiculousness is that!? Bangs are not even that uncommon, it's like saying most guys would not date someone that wears a watch... I mean, the same applies for tattoos in my mind but tattoos and piercings are at least a little controversial in some people's minds. Didn't think bangs fit in the same category...

Ps: agree with the fan favorite, that anglerfish is awesome.

Reminds me of ZeFrank... Where did that guy go :(

_refugee_  ·  2959 days ago  ·  link  ·  

It's stupid, arbitrary, and anyone who actually would refuse to date another person based solely on a hair style such as bangs is probably both sad and shallow.

Then again, I have no interest in dating anyone if they share either my dad's or my brother's name. That would be weird.

user-inactivated  ·  2960 days ago  ·  link  ·  

They say one can't stop after the first tattoo.

goo  ·  2959 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I know I couldn't stop after my first piercing! Although I've hit the point where I've got (almost) all of the ones I'd like to have.

_refugee_  ·  2960 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I don't know. I don't think my brother really "gets" it. I have always been a tattoo fan, on the other hand.

user-inactivated  ·  2959 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Those who enjoy tattoos never seem to get enough. My experience with tattoo-wearers is small, however: you and Kiefer Sutherland, along with the abstract idea that I've mentioned, - so I can't speak with certainty.