I got you.

So you've got these kids and they don't make nearly what their parents made when they were kids. They've got roommates, or they live at home, and they don't drive because they can Uber everywhere and their music is on Spotify on their phone and really - they don't have much in the way of possessions and their job is shit and unfulfilling and has no security and you know what? A lot of the time they're bored. They're bored, they're insecure and they aren't getting what they were promised... just like every generation of young adult males before them.

But they've got Facebook, they've got Instagram, they've got Tinder, they've got Vine, they've got Youtube. They've got a million opportunities to tell them that there is no self without self-promotion. And the people they see are not shaped like their parents, the people they see are shaped like triathletes.

But only shaped. They never compete. They never play sports. They never get together and do any of the competitive stuff that you can actually be judged on. That requires training, which requires coaching, which requires a time commitment, whereas once you've got a gym membership they charge you the same no matter when and how often you're there. Frankly, their shower is nicer than the one at home anyway and probably there's a hot tub. And chicks in yoga pants.

And you can't really afford to eat anyway and for fuck's sake you aren't going to eat like your parents because my god who can handle the carbs? Especially when a fuckin' gin and tonic is 400 calories. So what do you do?

You lift.

You train.

You work out. You certainly don't "pump iron" - only cro magnons do that shit, guys whose tendons are so shortened they can't wipe their own asses. Not you. You're just here to "stay in shape" like every other dude in your Facebook feed. Besides, you've got that Tough Mudder coming up in a month and a half and there's nothing quite so Instagramariffic as abs covered in strategically-wiped mud. Maybe Bethany will even comment on the photo.

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Really, it's harmless. Probably great, actually. Kids with no money are turning inward, same as convicts do in prison. Take away their disposable income, their status signals and their materialistic possessions and all they got is them so that's what they're buffing and polishing and detailing and cruising up and down the boulevard in. When you've got the time, lookin' ripped simply demonstrates that you have the discipline.

Good on 'em. Me? I like bread and cheese too much but fuck you I'm still runnin' 9 minute miles.