if we want to/decide it's worth it
I've decided that, for me, it is worth it.
And fwiw, tng, I'm going to apply what information I've gleaned from this going forward in my interactions with the bartender. I'm not saying it's love - ha! - but I am saying, hey, maybe I will try some of these cross roads. Maybe I can sidestep some ditches. I don't see it as attempting to fundamentally change my attachment style, but perhaps attempting to manage it more effectively.
That's great, I'm glad this had an impact on you. Whether or not it's hogwash, and for the record I don't think that it is, it has made us take a close look at ourselves. I think a good amount of self-inspection is healthy stuff. Knowing yourself is a good thing. Good luck in general and more specifically, with that bartender.