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comment by lil
lil  ·  3813 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Today's Writing Prompt: The fog of love

I love rhyming poems. The only place where there seems to be an extra syllable is the word "appearance." Maybe you can change it to "looks."

The line breaks are not showing up as you intend them unless you put two blank lines where you want a new line.

  Better still, indent
  Two spaces and your
  Poems will look like this.
(Then I'll take another look)




OftenBen  ·  3813 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Better?

And I kind of like appearance because of the tempo it gives.

lil  ·  3812 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Yes much better.

    might be severely navel gazing
Poetry is a good place to do it. Questions of identity are important (in my world anyway). Who am I? How do I come across to others? Can I change what I see in the mirror? Do I have a core sense of self that I carry with me? Am I lovable?

I think that's some of what the poem is asking. Yes? No?

OftenBen  ·  3810 days ago  ·  link  ·  

    I think that's some of what the poem is asking. Yes? No?

That's definitely a way to read it, and the thought definitely crossed my mind a few times when I was rereading sections while finishing it.

In writing it I was thinking more about how when we get to know people intimately, there is a certain reflection of oneself visible in them. You can look at them, at their actions, into their eyes and empathize so completely that you become them, in a way.