Holy fuck that's a lot of handwork. I also noticed that the "on camera" cookies didn't look quite as stellar as the hero cookies. Still, kind of a cool idea. there's got to be an easier way, though. And hey - what do you do with all your cast-off cookie shrapnel? 'cuz by my estimation you're going to end up with half a mixing bowl full of gaily-colored cookie crumbs. After searching for "pinata cookies" I found this, though, so that's entertaining.
Love the video: I have never seen either of those available, but I guess I wasn't looking hard enough. Actually, lemme look real quick. Triceratops cookie-cutter Crab cookie-cutter Noah's Ark cookie-cutter Poodle cookie-cutter Dragon cookie-cutter Moose cookie-cutter Camel cookie-cutter A fucking armadillo cookie-cutter Oh, wait. Here it is. One row down from the Republican Elephant cookie-cutter. Yeah, I'm all for diving in to stuff in the kitchen and I don't mind things that take a long time, but I don't think I'm up to this. Plus, I just don't eat that many cookies, or want anyone to see me making these.Now, you're going to need a burro cookie-cutter, but you can find something similar, like a horse and it'll be just fine.
But that's the beauty of it - FIVE CUPS of flour, TWELVE COOKIES! One of the traditions my wife has established is that for Christmas, everybody gets food. Which means we make a shit-ton of recipes. Also, the fambly comes over and decorates her dad's traditional cookie recipe on Christmas Eve. This was primarily instituted so that her mom would be forced to stop last-minute shopping at least 12 hours before the deadline but it also works as a fun get-together thing. Kinda psyched to see my daughter mess around next year. Anyway. We'll make a triple recipe of the cookies and end up with something like eight dozen of the things out of most of a 5lb bag of flour. I'll buy 2 lbs of walnuts but we get enough spiced nuts out of that to put together a dozen packages or so (we also crank through four recipes of fudge, two or more recipes of toffee, usually a double-or triple recipe of candied orange/lemon peel and a double recipe of shortbread). One nice thing about this recipe is it'll keep your food coloring fresh. We generally have to buy new paste every couple years 'cuz you just can't go through the stuff fast enough to keep it from turning to tar. This recipe? Watch that chick with the gel coloring. My wife thought it was frosting at first the way she was laying into it.Plus, I just don't eat that many cookies,
Haha, yeah. Each one the size of a rat. kb, how much sugar is that for all those Christmas recipes? I mean, dang. My family Christmases are a bit different in that there's much more focus on savory stuff, like noodles and more noodles and roasted pigs and rarely (but awesomely), a whole roasted calf. I'd post a picture, but I couldn't find one that made it look appetizing.But that's the beauty of it - FIVE CUPS of flour, TWELVE COOKIES!
Shit tons. Five, ten pounds easy. You gotta keep in mind, though - those are for gifting. Last year we went through 10 lbs of sugar but we also sent out 9 care packages of between 2 and 5 lbs each. The only confectionary that doesn't get sent out is bourbon freeballs because nobody wants to eat them but me. As far as food-food I do a turkey. And it's pretty delicious. Need to find a better heritage vendor 'round here, though. My LA supplier has been a total bitch like 4 years running and is probably getting out of the turkey business. Sucks.
Those bourbon freeballs sound pretty good to me. I'll give that a try sometime. Have you found that one bourbon or another works best? You mentioned heritage birds before, I think. I'm not a real turkey guy, but I eat roast turkey very rarely (sometimes not even on Thanksgiving) and it's pretty much because I've never had a turkey that blew my mind. Though, I've had turkey gravy that I've wanted to drink with a straw. I can't really imagine that there's a gigantic market for heritage birds, am I wrong?
The bourbon matters mostly for the aftertaste. As you don't use more than a few shots I buy whatever I want to drink the rest of but don't mind spending a couple shots on for cookies. Which generally means Maker's or Wild Turkey 80. Sometimes I'll do Beam because for reasons I don't quite understand I can buy a bottle of Beam for $9 at Ralphs quite regularly while Maker's remains within a few bucks of Woodford Reserve. I had to make do with a butterball for Christmas. First time I've had to do that since 2009. My god, the difference. On the plus side, $1.99 a pound (I usually spend $6 or $7/lb on my turkey, which is usually over 20 lb). On the minus side, chicken has more flavor. My lady is the only supplier of heritage birds south of Santa Barbara. There are over 16 million people in the greater LA metro area. She raised 90 birds and had several go unsold. It's a damn shame.
That makes sense, in regard to the bourbon. You know, I actually remember reading this article. Specifically this line: I have this thing against breast meat and the preference for it. I just don't get why people like it so much and I could express my love of thighs and legs (poultry and otherwise) all day. That really is a shame that in general, people grow up with industrially farmed meat and don't develop a taste for real animals and that convenience wins so often, but I get it. I hope your turkey lady has a change of fortune.They don't lay eggs; their large breasts make it impossible for them to mount.
I seem to recall a photo you posted of your wife with a gigantic bag of chocolate or some such thing and I think it was for Christmas baking. I recall thinking two things: 1. That's a ton of chocolate and 2. KB married up.
1) Not the best picture of her. But yeah. I scored. 2) That's 33%, which my wife didn't even want to touch (she'll barely acknowledge anything under 60% and don't get her started on "white" chocolate). 3) Callebaut is pretty goddamn delicious but we generally don't go through more than a couple pounds a year. For most baking TJ's or Kroger brand is plenty good enough.
Yeah, that's a big-ole bag o' chocolate. One of my favorite new past times is baking chocolate chip cookies with my daughter. Really brings back memories, wanting to lick the bowl/spoon and not being able to wait till they've cooled. \/ It's time we tried something new though. Wife made pudding with her yesterday and it turned out well. I'm not the best baker as it requires a level of discipline I sorely lack, but it's fun to try from time to time.