My roommate weighs 350 lbs. He eats a lot of burger king. 'sokay though 'cuz he eats zero calorie salad dressing. But his business takes a while and he's got his phone so he'll be on the can for 45 minutes to an hour. And then he gets up and his ass is numb and his leg is asleep so he stumbles. And that's why the toilet is broken off the flange. It leaks. Onto the floor. And that's why the towel bar is broken off the wall. And that's why the couch is broken. And that's why the end tables are broken. He went on vacation during the summer. My other roommate literally threw away his sheets and pillows and bought replacements. They were beyond laundry.
I didn't pick this guy. He's an acquaintance of my actual roommate, who is in NM filming something for Netflix until Dec 17. My buddy rides herd on the slob and gives him grief about it, but has never seen how bad it is when he's gone. So either I can scold the shit out of a 27 year old grown-ass man or I can passive-aggressively take photos of the damage and book flights.
Oh, the joys of roommates. Have I mentioned when the lease is up, I'm moving in with the girl? 'Gratz, hubski, you're the first people I've told. Is it scary? Yes. Is it also, to my mind, the best possible housing choice I could make? Hella yes. cc: lil