This ended up being huge, but it felt good to write and like a waste to throw away. The TL;DR is that I turned 21, went to a wedding. Met a girl there and I'm not sure why she's still on my mind.
I turned 21 this past weekend. It happened to line up with the day before one of our close family friend's wedding, which is actually a pretty convenient time for me since everyone was already in the spirit of buying drinks (+ I'm not really huge on having a day of people focusing on me, so having something bigger going on while still getting acknowledged was the right amount of attention).
I got really political the first night, and kinda wish I didn't. I drunkenly parodied the alt-right to one of the grooms' dad who is a serious Trump supporter, and got taken seriously. I was a bit drunk at that point and realized I was being a bit of a dick. If he found out I was mocking those views, I thought it would be hurtful so I kept up the charade for the rest of the weekend around him.
We later went out to this club, The Library, it was pretty nice. People kept buying me shots and I kept taking them. At some point an older (not old, just the age I think of as an "Adult" - 40-50?) person egged me on with different topics. This time I took stances I actually hold which I don't think was welcome in that crowd. It ended when he grabbed both of my shoulders dragged me in and screamed into my face "YOU'RE WRONG." We bought each other a beer the next day and pretended like nothing happened, so I think things are fine.
The wedding was the next day at the TCU chapel. The other groom's parents refused to attend. Seeing the our friends' family as they walked their son down the aisle while immediately followed by their now son in law being escorted by his aunt and uncle induced some pretty complex emotions in me. First sadness at the thought of the parents' abandonment of their relationship, then anger over the same thing, then anger over their taking away from the moment, then back to happiness in seeing that he IS loved, just by other people than his parents.
Finally the reception. Way better when you can actually drink. Hit it off with a girl a couple months younger than me. Snuck her drinks from the bar which she seemed to appreciate (her mom didn't seem thrilled with it when she saw her drinking though, felt a little conflicted about that). We talked all night through the reception. We both like alternative music, which I guess was a big deal to her because no one else in Nebraska does. I asked her to dance and was secretly relieved when she said "when they stop playing bad music" since I don't really like dancing in a crowd to pop music and I wasn't really sure what I was going to do when we got to the floor. She later grabbed my hand and walked me over to where people were smoking cigars (allegedly Cuban). Someone handed me a cigar and all I could focus on was how wet the tip was. I took a couple puffs, made up something about how bold and great the flavor is and handed it back. Stood there for a bit and talked about life & how great people are.
The same girl grabbed my hand again after a bit, and took me to the dance floor - I guess the music was okay now. We're dancing to wedding reception music and I'm doing okay. Not good, but acceptable. I have really long limbs and I'm just never sure what to do with them while I dance. Then a dance circle opens up. I'm again led over, and eventually in - which is not exactly the place I want to be. I freeze up a bit and then back out and I'm cringing writing this. I'm sure it wasn't that bad in reality. I should just learn how to dance and then none of this would be an issue. The girl's mom was with her for the rest of the night after this, I think she finally put her foot down about her daughter drinking (which is fine, not a judgement - just made me feel like I shouldn't be around).
Around this time we saw the grooms off and everyone went to a piano bar, and then back to the club from the night before. I stayed back, exhausted and about as drunk as I wanted to be.
The girl and I didn't trade numbers, but she did ask for my Snapchat & I added her back which is almost the same thing (it's not). I don't think I'll reach out, not sure anything further is what I want. The real question for me is, why is she still on my mind? I've had girlfriends & actual relationships I haven't felt the need to write about, yet this girl and that experience is still on my mind, even though nothing actually happened.
This turned into a mountain and if you read this whole thing, you're awesome, and if you didn't, no judgements. I know I'd probably skim over it.