State your boundaries.
Play safely and consensually.
Have sensible safe sex practices.
Respect our space and each other.
Don’t linger unaccompanied in play spaces.
Don’t cruise aggressively.
Don’t get too intoxicated.
Don’t take photographs.
Don’t use your cellphone.
Don’t gossip about what goes on here.
It actually sounds like the atmosphere I experienced at the regional israeli burn. It was a very sexually comfortable vibe, where sex was encouraged (in specific areas like camp Free Love or your own tent) but not the center of attention. I really enjoyed that, one of the reasons I will probably go back. Additionally, it felt like a cuddle-party too. People broke down their walls and allowed their emotions to surface. A hug was a proper hug, a kiss was passionate and the tears were real, no matter if they were of joy or sadness. I haven't experienced an orgy yet, but I did have polyamorous relationships (for a year). Looking forward to try out more.
I was all set to shit all over this. I spent most of the '90s/00's on the periphery of swingers clubs etc. On the one hand, goths and rivetheads. On the other hand, alternative medicine. On still the third hand, I knew a lot of cover bands. As such, I knew the bouncers, I knew the DJs, I knew the dabblers. So when somebody says My eyes they get to rollin'. Been there, heard that, same song, different day. These clubs are always different because they're always volunteer-run, they're always a community first and foremost and you always know you're joining in as part of something. That's the schtick. That's the banner they wave. That's the flag they hold aloft. Casual sex for unity! Fuck a stranger for freedom! But then we get to this: Yeah, that jives. The folx at these clubs, in these circles, running in these cliques? - integrate poorly with society - can't get laid without some bizarro ritual like a swingers' club - suck at making friends - view the "external world" as uniformly hostile It's been my experience that the deeper in you are, the more fucked up your relationships are, the less likely you are to adhere to societal norms, that more likely you are to reject everything normal simply for being normal, and the more likely overall you are to view life as an existential struggle between "us" and "them" where "us" is always oppressed by this monolithic, unthinking "them" that is A) uncool B) too focused on appearance C) a slave to fashion and society D) did I mention uncool? I hung out with an interesting crew my first couple years at college. They started bonding over "friday night disco hour" where they'd roll a PA into the dorm lounge, dress up in disco clothing and dance for an hour (I did not participate). But they hung together otherwise, moved in together after Freshman year, etc. I slept with two of them but I found out from the one I wanted to but didn't that outside of my interactions with them, they were having regular orgies. What started as "disco hour" became more of a coded sex cult where you were in or you were out. She wanted me in, but I was too busy transferring to another school. And having friends. Friends outside of disco hour. I was the only one. Never made that connection before: "Sex clubs are for people who feel at war in their every day." It explains a lot.“Kinky Salon is different because it’s volunteer-run, it’s a community first and foremost, and you know you’re joining in as part of something,”
“As it turns out, the first ‘key parties’ weren’t about sexual pleasure so much as a response to the existential issues triggered by facing the highest death rates of any branch of the U.S. military during the war,” Ryan told me in an interview. “These guys had a one in three chance of dying during one of their missions in the Pacific. They got together and had sex parties, not as a way of getting more sex … but as a way of deepening the bonds that held their deeply interdependent community together. The tacit understanding was that the men who survived would look after the widows of those who didn’t.”
What's wrong with that? Thanks for not shitting everywhere. You write your points well Klein and you sound like you've forgotten more than I've lived but you're thinking very black and white here. - integrate poorly with society - can't get laid without some bizarro ritual like a swingers' club - suck at making friends - view the "external world" as uniformly hostile Except Sure, it's not Chuck E Cheese but it's not exactly a porno theater either. How are the people in this club any different from you and me? The real point of these events seem to be more about free expression than free fucking. The sex seems almost secondary to the comfortable atmosphere these people are seeking to indulge a thing they love. It's no more "us" versus "them" than a book club, or an AA meeting, or the Girl Scouts. It's just regular folx discussing what matters most to them in a relaxed, friendly setting. The community is emphasized, the fucking is optional. While I've never gotten an invitation, I can say I'd jump at the opportunity. What faults could these people possibly have to hide?Casual sex for unity! Fuck a stranger for freedom!
The folx at these clubs, in these circles, running in these cliques?
It's not anonymous. And you’re not necessarily going to get laid. You can go and just have fun and hang out. You don’t have to have sex. In fact, most of them are coming for the community.
They - integrate poorly with society - can't get laid without some bizarro ritual like a swingers' club - suck at making friends - view the "external world" as uniformly hostile. ...been to one? ...been to one? ...been to one? Right. So that people such as yourself can read something like this and go "oh, casual sex clubs are just like bridge clubs, only with fucking." Go find one. They're not hard to locate. Be prepared for disappointment. In addition to the faults listed above, they also tend to be fuggly. I could have put that nicely, but they tend to be fuggly. They kind of select for fuggly - I've known pretty girls within that community and they either select out due to undue attention or they gravitate into the paid BDSM universe. I've known four BDSM "models." Three of them dabbled in the swinger community. How many have you known? I hope this drives home the point without being obnoxious - you're all about the wondrous world of the swingers' club in theory while I'm pretty much down on it in practice.How are the people in this club any different from you and me?
The real point of these events seem to be more about free expression than free fucking.
The sex seems almost secondary to the comfortable atmosphere these people are seeking to indulge a thing they love.
It's no more "us" versus "them" than a book club, or an AA meeting, or the Girl Scouts.
The community is emphasized, the fucking is optional.
While I've never gotten an invitation, I can say I'd jump at the opportunity.
What faults could these people possibly have to hide?
I know exactly 0 about this world, and I would guess a million times over that this is a near universal truth. But for the people who are interested, good for them. Fuggy needs love, too, and if you can find a bunch of fuggly to cuddle up with, more power to ya.In addition to the faults listed above, they also tend to be fuggly. I could have put that nicely, but they tend to be fuggly.
So, relevant story. We (girlfriend and I) were visiting a friend who lives at an undisclosed Brooklyn location. While there, others were setting up for an event later in the evening. It was a pretty atmospheric setup, massage areas, well done ambient lighting, "cuddle puddle" areas, other sexual paraphernalia. Obviously we inquired and it turns out the deco was for a Chemistry event. The organizers had asked our opinions of their work and even offered to let us participate for a reduced fee (which was still too high for an impulse decision.) To this day, I still wonder about what could've happened that night.
A shame you couldn't experience it. It sounds like a great date for two people who share a secure emotional relationship. I like how it's only about sex if you want it to be. Sounds more like a place to explore you and your partner's wants and needs in a private, relaxed atmosphere.Some are there for the sex, which Whittaker calls “sport fucking,” while others are there to escape cultural norms and define a new, more liberating sexual universe that encompasses the full spectrum of their needs.
yeah, that''s the best way I'd describe the feel of the environment they created. We basically wanted to try out the different exhibits and talk to others in that lifestyle.