I recently read Peter Gray's piece on how we're robbing kids of the ability to play. I wonder if the same thing is happening on the web.
Thanks for writing, nice piece.
I would be more happy if I could do that. Every time I post something on social media or on email, I feel like everyone's judging me. When I post something not within the rules of the medium, I can expect comments from some friends I see daily. It's definitely holding me back from posting at all, even though I should know better than that.But when was the last time I saw a blinking cursor and thought: let’s play? Forget how people will respond, whether it will get any clicks of pageviews. Just play. How far would it go in changing the ethos of the web if those of us who live, work, and play here would just loosen the fuck up?
You're quite welcome. I think most people are judging, but that's not the problem. The problem is that we give too much weight to that judgement. I remember posting a tweet a few months ago, and not having heard from a user who I'd regularly conversed with for a couple of weeks after that. I suddenly recalled a tweet that I'd posted that could've been misconstrued, and wondered if I'd offended her with that tweet. It was a ridiculous notion, but my imagination got the better of me. Perhaps there was judgement, but 1) in this case, it was all in my imagination, and 2) if there was judgement, how did that affect me, really?
I think one of the problems is the communication method. People usually rely of non-verbal clues for communication. The internet completely removes that from the picture (excluding face-time websites). It can be hard to get the same understanding from reading what someone wrote as it is from being there and hearing/watching them talk.
Every time I post something on social media or on email, I feel like everyone's judging me.
Maybe they are, especially if they are insecure. They might feel better if they can knock you down a notch (in their minds), while possibly envying your courage. It's definitely holding me back from posting at all
If you see those "friends" daily and their online feedback discourages you from posting, have you spoken face-to-face with them? You might say, "Last time I posted, your comment seemed to me like you were judging me. What's up?" or something like that. (They might be a little less bold in person and possibly not even aware of how they come across online.)
I'm sorry, I worded that poorly. They don't comment on social media, but IRL. I know they talk about me behind my back, because they talk to others behind their back with me. Like 'did you see what ___ posted yesterday? What an idiot.' I know I should't let that hold me back but it still does, because I want to keep everyone as friends and thus I want everyone to like me. In an odd coincidence, I forgot to log out on facebook on someone else's phone, and he just posted that I 'was stroking the lovely goats in the petting zoo. #YOLO', haha. So I'm just gonna leave it there.
In an attempt to remedy my Facebook problem, which seems in line with yours - people who know me can see what I post, therefore I can't post what I really want! - I created a Twitter account where I only followed the few friends that knew me very well and so would either be amused by or ignore my shenanigans, and then followed, you know, celebrities and the like. I then proceeded to use it to post whatever flippant comments I wanted to, regardless. Over time I amassed more followers, some of whom knew me, and some of those whom at some point in time started bitching about the way I use hashtags. Because sometimes I like to be #gratuitous. At that point I was like #fuckem and "If you don't like my hashtags, you can unfollow me." I think at the point where you (general you, not specific you) are complaining about your real-life friends' use of social media in real life, and over such minor, nit-picky details such as those - just unfollow them. Clearly you care far too much about regulating their use of the internet, and I'm not going to change the way I post on an account I created specifically so I could feel free to post whatever I wanted however I wanted because my hashtags annoy someone. But I've also somehow amassed followers just by tweeting at other people I kind of know on Twitter! And you know what? These anonymous people don't find me annoying. They tweet back at me. They ask me about my life. Sometimes, they even find me funny. (I like being funny.) Today for instance I posted "swoon" which spawned a conversation with a near-stranger (an internet friend?) about why I was swooning in which I got to propose that I was probably a serial killer. Because on this account I'm free to be as ridiculous as I want, and say whatever I want to. I think the brevity of the medium helps with this. If I had to write longer posts I would try to make them more meaningful. Twitter is perfect for sending flippant little quips out into the world. I suppose part of my solution was deciding I didn't care if everyone liked me - but it's a lot safer to do that in an online medium where you mostly know no one, and the ones you do know you trust to like you anyway. But Twitter. If you like being silly and flip online and often have little snarky things to say....try Twitter. I'll follow you. And I promise, I won't bitch about your hashtags. (Or, you know, whatever.)
First off, thanks for this post, it's got me thinking. Your idea to create a Twitter account is a very good idea but I don't think it's something for me. I like being silly but I don't like the pressure of having to post something every once in a while just to keep the followers interested. What I do have however is the need to vent thoughts somewhere. I'm still running with the idea in my head of starting a webcomic of some sort. But I am at the I-need-to-do-a-lot-of-work-to-become-any-good-stage of that. Nobody will care is a sentence that does a lot with me. I now try to make stuff in Illustrator every now and then to practice, hopefully I'll be out of that stage before my retirement.I suppose part of my solution was deciding I didn't care if everyone liked me - but it's a lot safer to do that in an online medium where you mostly know no one, and the ones you do know you trust to like you anyway. But Twitter. If you like being silly and flip online and often have little snarky things to say....try Twitter. I'll follow you. And I promise, I won't bitch about your hashtags. (Or, you know, whatever.)
I don't know if I agree with this completely. I do think that children need to play and grow and learn but what I see in today's teenagers is the lack of desire to learn and be productive and work hard to see the results. We're trying to hire someone at my company to help out and float around as needed. We need someone to format and make changes to powerpoints, to convert the videos or audio files to their correct formats. Bitch work. Busy Work. I started doing the exact same thing and slowly took on more and more responsibilities (and money). Doing that type of work is part of the process. You work for someone else to fill your time as you learn and develop understanding about the company or goals. Part of the point of busywork is to show that you are dedicated and can accomplish tasks and take direction. The fresh college graduates don't see the value of their reputation, showing up on time, and doing the work. They expect everything to be handed to them and to see instantaneous results. If they don't see the results they don't see the point. It is painfully obvious in the 20-30 interviews I've sat in on. They want to be lead designer or master of the content the day they start. They haven't had a job besides Starbucks and assume that their degree will skyrocket them to the top post. I think it has to do with instant gratification that they get from the littlest accomplishments: here's a gold star for successfully harvesting your imaginary plants with the touch of a finger! It has generated a bunch of people who love to play but don't love to do. I'm all for balancing work with play, but you have to be able to work first. The difference between what kids used to play at and what kids play at now is different. You pointed out: These are all things that take time and energy in order to obtain the reward. From playing, kids learn that hard work, time and energy pay off. They are using their physical and mental abilities to accomplish said tasks; it is a challenge. Today, kids don't play like in the same way. They play on their new iPhones or online games. They enjoy memes and youtube videos to get laughs. If the video doesn't load in 3 seconds, most give up. From the link: I think that kids need to play but they need to play differently. Youtube videos are not play. iPhone games are not play.The boys played endlessly at tracking and hunting, and both boys and girls played at finding and digging up edible roots. They played at tree climbing, cooking, building huts, and building other artefacts crucial to their culture, such as dugout canoes.
Forrester found that 40 percent of consumers will wait no more than three seconds for a web page to render before abandoning the site.
I absolutely see your point, and the sense of entitlement you point out has, fairly or unfairly, been discussed at length, so I won't beat a dead horse. There's something to it (or we wouldn't be talking about it), but painting with such a broad brush based on personal experience is a dangerous logic game. I've battled with this with my own daughter. Of course, I make her put down the screen and go outside and play on occasion, but games and videos are play. Its just a different kind of play than we're used to. The phenomenon will probably hold true, too: kids play at what they're interested in, so those kids who play at games and videos are likely to incorporate that interest in their chosen career, to a certain extent. I'm certainly not saying it's good for them, or that they don't need to put the screens down (I'm a huge proponent of that), but I don't want to say that kids need to play differently because they're not playing the way I did or want them to.Youtube videos are not play. iPhone games are not play.
You sound like you might be a little bitter towards a new intern or something.