Okay, so step 1. Drink Water. Step 2. Get some sleep and maybe take a pain reliever. So far, it appears that I've been following your regiment pretty well for years. If the next step is to eat a burrito, pizza or an gyro, then I might as well apply for my hangover-medical-license now because, well... that's what I have been doing since my all nighters in college. Cards at Denny's? Please tell me this wasn't just fiction.Ahhh, the British. And by the British, I mean those British. Who really in fact resemble the Americans of the same era, what with their lunches of unapologetically multiple martinis. These were less stressed times, at least in some senses, and for some of the people. They were less alcophobic times and places, this much is clear. But we are nothing if not a post-Prohibitionist culture, convulsed at many turns by post-Prohibitionist guilt, which operates at once as would-be barrier and as unintended fuel to our fetishization, our very sacralization, of the spirit. But there goes a rant, and a fine one at that. We’ll save the rest for later.
I really do wish it were not taboo to offer someone a drink when they visit your office. People always offer coffee, which is a stimulant. Why not offer a cocktail in the event that the person standing in your office might like to go in the other direction? Maybe I need to relax in this meeting and not be wound up tighter than a drum. -Are drums "wound?"
Fiction? Hmmm ... alas, I think that it was. But then again, there's no way to be entirely sure. Either way, stranger things than this have actually happened. Wouldn't that make a good "ask hubski" thread? Tell us the story of the most surreal thing that ever really happened to you. I do agree that one should be offered martinis upon arriving in an office. Or scotch, maybe. Maybe our society's approach to business would be much more broad minded, kind, and cognizant of extra-financial consequences if we were simply allowed to slow down, relax, and enjoy a bit of communal cheer with our colleagues mid-workday. Then again, we might all sleep through the middle afternoon. Which in turn might also make us behave more humanly. It doesn't seem likely to happen anytime soon, sadly. Our culture is, if anything, increasingly fear/guilt/caution driven, which is intriguing as we are increasingly (statistically) not participants in those religions commonly cited as sources for guilt complexes. Then again, perhaps the emerging state religion is that of corporate compliance. But I'm far from despairing. I try to change my small corner of the world by offering libations to everyone who strays into the line of my hospitality. Granted, my workplace regards such things differently than do most. But home is a great marshaling space for such social shifts too. And whenever I receive an incredulous glance, a nervous titter, or a "but it's not yet 3:30!" in response to such an offer, I smile and pour my guest a cup of coffee. Or water. Or fresca. (Just kidding. I've never bought a fresca in my life). For de-stressing beverages that are workplace friendly, there are some teas you might want to consider. I'm investigating Kava root teas for their relaxing effects which don't impair motor skills, and don't seem to involve sleepiness. Rooibos is also becoming a favorite. It seems to energize even while it renders one serene. Of course, then you're the guy who's always offering people tea. Bottom line? Workplace protocols are straight-up fascist.