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comment by humanodon
humanodon  ·  4279 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Communication Goals Checklist

I'd like to work on dealing with indirect people. Indirect people can get on my nerves. I'm better about it now, I think, but sometimes I find myself understanding what they want, but refusing them what they want by pretending not to understand.

One thing I don't see on your list is dealing with nervous people. Nervous people get to me too. Sometimes I want to bite them. Nervousness can spread faster than a yawn, or a nasty cold through a college dorm. Plus, it's gross.





lil  ·  4279 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Yeah, indirect people are crazymaking. By "nervous people" -- do you mean anxious, fearful, controlling, nagging, shaking. What do they do that makes you want to bite them?

humanodon  ·  4279 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Well, now that you've opened it up as a spectrum, I have to say that the fear is what bothers me the most. Although, nervous people who are floundering and asking for help, who then shoot down every suggestion can make me go berserk. Maybe that's keyed into anxiety, I don't know. I think that part of it is that I have a hard time understanding it. I don't mean that I don't get nervous, because I definitely do, but I prefer to fail and then learn from that rather than inching my way along, sweating bullets.

It's no specific behaviors that people exhibit when nervous either. Like, I don't look at a kid who's never been on-stage before, practically peeing himself and think, "ew." What I'm talking about is more like . . . when someone locks up when they're supposed to do something they should know how to do and just can't because of their own baggage. There's a piece tied to my own expectations in there, I'm sure. It reminds me of trying to save someone from drowning and that person's flailing has a likelihood of injuring or impeding the person trying to save them to the point where they are at risk of death too.

Heh, that's a bit vague. Maybe I should work on expressing myself to others a bit more, too!