I have only joined recently, but I think it's very cool that you're blogging about your experience. Though it's so common, until I read a book on the history of cancer treatment, I had no idea that I had no idea about what cancer, not to mention different cancers entailed, or why its treatment is so incredibly difficult. I am sorry to hear that you are sick after being well. I really hope that it responds well to treatment. I have a question, if you don't mind. My aunt has been diagnosed with cancer. So far, she has several masses in her brain and it has metastasized and spread to several of her major organs. She can no longer speak, is bedridden and has lost control of her bodily functions. As if that weren't bad enough, her husband has made the decision to keep the test results from her. In the country they live in, this is somehow OK with the doctors. My uncle is in full-denial as is one of his sons, my cousin. The other son is doing his best, but he's the younger brother and we come from a culture with an antiquated hierarchy. They are currently looking for alternative cures via homeopathic medicine. They've always been a hard luck family and have had to take out loans from the rest of the family and now my parents, my other uncle and aunt are chipping in to get a full-time nurse for her. My sick aunt has to know that something is seriously wrong. My extended family, led by my father (who is the eldest) is trying to delicately convince my uncle that he needs to accept that his wife has cancer and that she has the right to know what's wrong with her. My father is also trying to get my uncle ready for when she dies, as it seems she will, soon. I know that everyone is different, but not everyone gets cancer. Given what you know from yours, would you want to know exactly what is wrong? I really want to help my aunt as I love her, but like the rest of my extended family I feel like I can't tell my uncle what to do for his wife, especially not from thousands of miles away, though I feel like it's the thing to do.
Wow, I'm sure you uncle is acting out of love, that he feels it's better that she doesn't lose hope and if she knew she may give up. This I can understand. But in her condition yes she must know the end is near. I think she should know. I think it's best to have a clear picture of what is going on and what is happening. That doesn't mean there is no hope, but she will be able to prepare herself for things that can happen. Everyone I know who has died from cancer has been grateful to have had a chance to say what they need to say and do what they need to do before they go. Not everyone gets that chance, and having all this in order really can bring peace of mind. I know your aunt can't communicate well, but maybe there's some things she'd like to write to people, some final wishes of love she's like to remembered by. I don't know the best way to approach this, but he may need to hear it from your whole family. My best wishes to you and your family.
Thanks for your reply and your wishes. That's essentially how we feel about it too. I can't help but feel that if this course continues, it will be a source of regret and bitterness for a long, long time. Given the chance, I'd like to share with my uncle what little I've seen of your blog. It's pretty clear that despite the support my family is trying to show, he feels very, very alone and I don't blame him. My aunt must feel the same. Maybe an account of someone going through cancer who is determined to live might give them some perspective. Take care Mike.