At the risk of making this sound like some awful teenage YahooAnswers question, I thought I'd see if anyone on Hubski had experienced anything remotely similar.
I realise that although I generally don't have a problem meeting new people and apparently seem at ease in new social situations, I find it quite taxing and it often makes me physically/emotionally tired. If an initial meet with a new person lasts too long I feel as if I 'zone out' and start appearing quite distant, this is usually accompanied by a kind of hyper awareness of how the new people are seeing me. I get very embarrassed easily and feel vulnerable even when I shouldn't need to.
Also, even though I like my friends and have a 'normal' number of them, I really don't get the urge to meet them. There are people that I hope I will remain friends with for decades, yet I haven't seen those people for years and have actively avoided meeting with them on several occasions. Usually when I finally meet people it is pleasant enough, but I never relish going out and get into quite a state if I know I have to go to a party or gathering of people I don't know. I usually end up drinking too much to make up for the nervousness, which is a stupid idea.
I much prefer to remain at home with my partner or with family and never self-initiate social things that will require me to leave that comfort.
Is this 'a thing'? Does anyone recognise this in themselves? I ask because I realised that my partner is what I would consider to be somewhat 'shyer' than I consider myself, yet is always meeting friends and putting herself in new social situations/branching out to other people.