While it's different for everyone, I suspect it's influenced by how long the relationship lasted for, and the context of the breakup itself. I've had relationships of 3+ years end, one we could both see coming a mile away and ended amiably. Another was the result of cheating, so that hurt me an awful lot and while I "recovered" fairly fast, I "rebounded" far too quickly and I know I hurt people while I did this. But! I remember your relationship was in the 10 year realm, right? Honestly I have no idea. You'll be increasingly okay over time, and might never notice a specific moment when things click. Just day after day of things clicking a little better. But really, a decade together is a huge portion of your life. Days, weeks, months and years with this person intricately woven into your experience. It will take time to unwind that. I took a 6 month break one time when I was 18, as I behaved like such an asshole (and have no memory of it). I slowly allowed myself to drink again but never had a moment like that until 4 years ago, when I was 28. Last I recall was getting into a heated argument with a relative stranger at a party, then waking up the next day to a text from him apologizing for his behaviour. Which told me that I had 100% joined that little mess, with gusto. Another 6 months off the stuff. I blamed the gin for the most recent event, but really I was just in a bad frame and it was entirely exacerbated with the drink. Now I'm old enough that the hangover isn't worth it, and my whisky is too expensive to binge. Congrats on the 5 days, I hope there are more days to attach to the total and it gives you some control over things! Maybe it'll spark some creativity in you?how long does it take to move on?
Cause I used to really have fun drinking and now I most often than not turn into a crying mess
Thank you, that’s helpful. Indeed, we split soon after the 10 year mark. My friend told me the other day I grieve “like a man” where I went on a yolo denial fun spree the first 3 months and the sadness and loss is catching up now. A frankly sexist assessment by name, but she’s right about what happened. I feel my ex had the opposite process. Thankfully, I’ve never been a mean or agressive drunk. More a fun and reckless one - which from a sober person looking in is definitely annoying but great with other drinking friends. But my newfound sad drunk energy sucks for everyone so time for a hard reset.