Some of this framework is very useful! I remember just last year (yet again) struggling with what to do career-wise and writing out some of the internal contradictions similar to the octopus tentacles. I feel i've been the "cook" of this part of my life since I have left the university pond, and it's been an enjoyable process despite the up and downs and uncertainty. Makes me wish I took my agency in life earlier, could have made for happier times in my late teenage/early adulthood.
"The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second-best time is now." But really, there's no need to beat yourself up over what you've done if you've been following your curiosity, which I believe you have. It's okay following recipes if you're still exploring your cook books, so to say.