I'm doing really well, y'all.

I had a really shit week two weeks ago—realized I might not be able to afford tuition for my last semester, great-uncle passed, had a pregnancy scare, quit the softball team. But on the next Monday, I found 4 unexplained smooth pebbles on my desk; none of my coworkers knew where they came from. I accepted them, a bit confused, but decided to throw one away as each of my problems was resolved (or at least processed). Today I threw the last one into the river.

I talked to my parents for an hour or so, and amongst other things, they offered to lend me $1500 with no due date to help with tuition and expenses. It was amazing how much background stress I had been feeling without realizing, and how quickly it all evaporated when my dad offered to help—or rather, insisted on helping. I told them about the stones, and opened up a bit more about my anxiety and depression (they knew but we hadn't talked in much detail). I told them how depression always made me feel, more than anything, so fragile, like the tiniest misfortune could send me spiraling; and as I told them how incredibly blessed I am to feel resilient again, I found myself crying for the first time in months. Happy tears.

I feel so lucky to have the support network I have, and to have the space and time to learn how to live in this beautiful, terrible, brightly burning world. Thank you all for the part you play in that.