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I think it's perfectly normal to cave like that. I called my ex something like once a month for several months. And when she picked up five months later, and asked how I was doing, I went off about how terribly I had been holding up since we broke up. Not the strong, graceful exit that I would love to tell my kid about when he or she asks, "Papa, what did you when you went through that awful, no good, really bad break up?" But I think that's ok. We really are not robots. Hold tight.