late to the pub, but oh well. I think I finally went through my "male rite of passage" on monday. My dad has been home for about 6 months (he was previously in pakistan for 2 years taking care of my grandfather, and before was gone for 10 years, and spent 3 years in a maximum security prison; although im proud as to why he did). Anyways, he has had a horrible addiction to alcohol which has resulted in about 13 or so years of separation. When he came back he said he wasn't going to drink, but inevitably did. He went through mostly hard times during these 6 months, and though there were a few weeks where he cleaned up his act, it was inevitably a failure. Now on monday we were supposed to go see about a certain store, and develop our opinion as to purchasing the store, but my dad was drunk right before we were about to go. So after a few arguments we decided not to go, and grab take-out from various places. Afterwards, when we finished our food in the living room, i went to the kitchen to go grab some ice cream and my mom comes to me and says he's drinking in the living room. At this point i got extremely, and in hindsight, unreasonably pissed. so i grab my dad and did something incredibly terrible; i throw him downstairs, and kick him out for about 5 minutes or so. when my anger subsided, which was rather quick, i went downstairs, opened the door and we talked, and we went upstairs and we talked. he talked about leaving at that moment, me and my brother realized his importance and all the hardships he went through, and then i saw his excruciating injuries and then we hugged and kissed, i slept with him, and i had never felt so close to my dad. then on tuesday, he decides to leave, but doesn't, and decides that he'll leave once we're setup with the store. i'm still shocked at my own actions (im an incredibly passive person) and my dad is. he's still drinking, and i think its better not to stop him and suppress his happiness, rather get on with my own life and build a successful life.
Karamazov - I've heard a version of this story from several men. Usually the dad was beating up on the mom. The son finally was bigger than his dad and stronger. The son goes between the dad and the mom and says, "If you hit her again, I'm going to beat the shit out of you." And yes, after that day, the domestic violence stopped. I heard that story from two men who had grown up and, guess what, became English teachers. Coincidence? Who knows? In your case, yes, get on with your own life - and let your experience strengthen you and make you wiser. Rites of passage, indeed.I think I finally went through my "male rite of passage" on monday.
There comes a point in some boys' lives when they throw their dads down the stairs.
Best of luck to you buddy, I think you're doing the right thing.