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comment by lil
lil  ·  2949 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: I'm done helping those "in need"

    For too long I've had the idea that I'm somehow responsible for helping others overcome their issues when it's something that I understand.
You might want to ask yourself exactly what are you responsible for?

What else?

How would you prioritize them, because we have only so much time, energy, etc.

Helping people is good - but you can't do it if you are burned out and you sound burned out. First, you are responsible for keeping your own life in order. As they say on airplanes, put on your own oxygen mask before helping others.

If other people drain drain drain you, spend some time filling yourself up. Surround yourself with people who care about you, not just about themselves.

Good luck with all this.





user-inactivated  ·  2949 days ago  ·  link  ·  

    You might want to ask yourself exactly what are you responsible for?

This is something I've never thought about, ever. I know what I want, and I'm discovering what I don't want with time, but what I'm responsible for? New. Thank you for leading me to this question.

    If other people drain drain drain you, spend some time filling yourself up.

Is it normal to have other people drain me? I don't mean those who do it suddenly - like a nasty coworker whom you can't separate yourself from, or a random stranger on the street who had a rough day. I mean people who stay in my life. I understand that it's normal to be drained by helping others - it can be a rigorous process, indeed - but should, must or ought I to engage with such people?

Also - is it true that you have a daughter? I hope I'm not mistaking anything, but I seem to remember it being mentioned somewhere among the Hubski comments. I ask because I just realized that as much as tiring can other adult people be, raising a child might be a hell for a person as sensitive as myself because they're even less... "well-adjusted", for lack of a better definition (because, well, they don't have any adjustments to begin their lives with), and I want to have children later in life.