You're not supposed to accomplish anything at this point. It's a hard, hard time for many people in their life, but it does get better. If I had made such a declaration and stuck to it, I wouldn't have the friends I now have, I wouldn't have my wife and kids, I wouldn't have been a part of Hubski or decided to write and record music. All of these things happened after I was 27. There's no time line. Nobody is keeping score. Just do your best to enjoy moments. Whatever does bring you joy, or makes you even just a little bit happy, do that. Like a lot. It seems you're asking for help. That's a good thing. You've recognized that you're not satisfied and that you need speak to someone. Great job! Seriously, you should feel very encouraged by the fact that you have the emotional maturity to seek help. Now, take the next step. Seek help IRL from a qualified therapist. No shame in that. None at all. There are times in my life when I was helped greatly by a therapist. All my best! You can do thisHere's the plan: unless in three years time - by January 1st, 2019 - I accomplish anything worthy with my life, I'll kill myself.
if I had made the same declaration at your age, and if I had followed through with it, I would now be dead. This post isn't meant as either a suicide note or a sympathy inducer, for I seek neither at the moment.
Thanks, Steve. I appreciate your input. I have nothing to compare myself against, and so far, I've seen - or paid attention to - the early successful people. The imprint stuck, though your point of view makes things clearer. I'm not asking for help. I need it, because where I'm stuck, there's no crawling out of on my own, and I won't hesitate to ask - but this post isn't me asking: it's a public declaration, like what people do for fitness and reading books. It seemed clear that I should write about it at the time. I'm not sure about the goal of writing about it now, but I don't regret it. I'd really like to do something with my life - and so far, I've seen successes - small, but important. If that's the means to achieve it, I'll take it. What's the phrase? "War times take war measures"? And I'm fighting. If I'm really this hopeless - I'll go, but I don't want to believe that I am for a second. I know I'm going for something great in my life; I want it, and I need it. I want my life to be about something; doesn't have to be world-changing - just life-changing, personally. I appreciate you getting involved, but you're pushing me to do good. Please don't: I operate terribly under the pressure of improvement; I become rebellious, and that's the last thing I need right now - to rebel against doing better.