I've never understood Bitcoin except on a very superficial level. Can someone ELI5 this article for me, please?
Once upon a time, there were some clever, nerdy dreamers that decided governments shouldn't control money. So they set about to create money that governments couldn't control. Unfortunately they had a better understanding of math than they did of government and an even poorer understanding of human nature so the nerdy dream got tarnished in its exposure to the real world. The dreamers insisted that their beautiful world free of government control of money was the goal and tried to change the dream, but a lot of the people who were using their currency were far more interested in the untraceable/chokepoint/illicit aspects of the new money and fought to keep things the way they were. Then one day one of the dreamers woke up and realized that the Chinese controlled the new money and whined in the New York Times. The End.
Yep. Bitcoin may have been a virtual hippie commune where math takes the place of marijuana. Now, dammit, no one's showing up for chores, the garden is weeds, and I need a dentist. I think I have to move back to Albany with my folks even if I have to wear a tie five days a week.