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comment by SadPandaIsSad
SadPandaIsSad  ·  3146 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: How do I deal with my parents' possessive control of me?

Well for starters I was 14 I wanted some say in what i was doing. We argued a lot. Never saw eye to eye. I was always under her thumb and needed to break free. I wanted to experience my own things and learn from my own mistakes instead of her preventing them from happening for me. So I moved in with my dad who is the polar opposite. His rules were 1 don't get brought home by the cops 2 I don't want to talk to teachers 3 don't wake me up. (That one was assumed not spoken).

I did my own thing, made a lot of mistakes. Hurt a few people (not physically). But I learned a lot and I wouldn't go back.

Sometimes a different perspective is all we need.

Well that's the hard part. Only you can decide. No matter what you should always be honest about how you feel, respectfully if possible. Brutally honest if necessary. They need to know that you are your own person, that means you need to act like your own person and become your own person. And that means you can't rely on them for pretty much anything. It won't happen over night. It will be hard and your relationship may never be the same again (hopefully for the better). If you need advice you can still ask them they're opinion. Take it in stride knowing they are going to try to push their ways on you. Take what information you see as helpful and disregard the rest. Thank them for their advise and say you will give it some consideration. This let's them know their opinion matters to you without just doing what they say.

Me personally, I tend to make my own way. I'm lucky that my mother is now a travel nurse so she is only in the state for a month a couple times a year. We get along much better for short periods of time. She is still my family and I still love her even if I don't always like her. I also make sure to always visit when she is in town and she does her best to keep her opinions about my life to herself unless I ask. Most of the time. She is still my mother after all and she will always want to push me on the right direction as she sees it but she is respectful and about. =p

Sorry for the format. I'm on a phone and its a lot of work.





user-inactivated  ·  3146 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Thanks for sharing and for the advice. I hope it all works well for you in the future.