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comment by arguewithatree
arguewithatree  ·  3150 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Today's Writing Prompt: The word picture

One thousand years pass and no time goes by at all. The white hot sun is infinitely standing guard in the sky while also rising and setting one million times. I am both limitlessly energized and fatigued in my bones as I sprawl out on the sharp, dry grass. One hundred faces pass, and no one is there. As I stare into the sky, I know that in this moment I am both someone and no one to them all. I know that in mere moments I will be moving while laying still, speaking rapidly with words pouring out of my ears and eyes like heavy rain. But for now, I am lying in the dead grass and trying to hold onto the ever spinning earth as it forces my immobile body through the cosmos away from today.

When you're young, a decade is a lifetime. Every day is an eternity but also rushes by like flowing water. At the end of it all, you're left with nothing except everything. Will you remember me when we leave this place? When I see you again, will it be your face that has aged or my eyes?





Isherwood  ·  3149 days ago  ·  link  ·  

It's an interesting idea, but I can't help but feel like I ultimately read nothing. I liked the duality of scene, but the idea of the place also being frozen in time felt overshadowed by how much the place moves. I could see this as a colorful picture, but currently each side negates the other and leaves me wanting something more tangible.

arguewithatree  ·  3149 days ago  ·  link  ·  

It's supposed to be a snapshot from my time at summer camp growing up. Being a teenager and being away from home and growing and learning but feeling like you're running on a hamster wheel and not really going anywhere.

I used to write all the time and I want to get back into it.

Isherwood  ·  3149 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I might have been a little overly harsh with this round of feedback. I tried to crank something out on a busy day instead of making you wait for when I had more time. That's my mistake.

I also went to summer camp, even worked there for a few years. It was a magical time. Do you think you could write me a scene where you describe it using each sense at least once? If I don't hear back from you by monday, that'll likely be the prompt of the day.

arguewithatree  ·  3149 days ago  ·  link  ·  

No it's fine; it wasn't inaccurate feedback. You were supposed to get a sense of nothing because that's how time moves in the summer when you're young. It was weird coming back and working as a counselor. Everyone seems so little and naive and you just want to protect them from everything (it also made me realize what a problem child i was)

I'll wait for Monday. I usually try to take a hubsk break over the weekend