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Fair enough. It is odd how your "friends" abandon you when you choose to stop drinking/drugging but it happens all the time. I can relate and would not do it with other people either even though that may be to better way to go. To be fair, any one that works in a non-profit has the best intentions of their clients at heart, in my experience. I have worked in food banks and other places like that and they can be amazingly positive. No one there will judge you and so please do take advantage of those services.