We've just started wedding planning and all of the cost estimates I can find are, surprise, from people trying to sell me wedding stuff.
I'm trying to get a more realistic idea - particularly about the venue. We're finding a lot for $5000, but that just seems crazy expensive to me. Though, admittedly, I am cheap.
Any insights?
Even an inexpensive wedding isn't cheap. I had the bright idea of going to Maui and only inviting close friends and family. The ceremony was free, because we did it in a park, and my sister-in-law got ordained for the occasion. The post-ceremony celebration set us back about $5000, because it's Maui, so you can figure it would've been $3500 anywhere else. Nice party, and I don't regret dropping that much cash on one night. I do regret hiring the photographer at $1000/hr. Wife and I got into a big fight about that, and I lost. I wouldn't recommend it when there are apps out there like Wedpix where everyone can upload their photos to a place everyone else can access. I kinda got bullied into a more traditional reception a month after the ceremony, thus completely defeating the purpose of the Maui wedding. That night cost me about $10,000, my in-laws about $10,000, and my parents about $5,000, more or less (there were about 120 people there, if I remember right). Of that, we probably got about $10,000 back in cash and gifts, so a pretty large net loss. It was a fun party, and I don't regret it, but I'm also not sure I would do it the same were I to do it again. If I had a do over, I would wait until the summer, get a big ass tent in the back yard, hire a caterer and get a few kegs of beer. Probably could have had an equally fun, equally classy party for 1/3 of what we spent to have it at a fancy restaurant/reception hall. If you can get off at $5,000, I say thank your lucky stars (assuming you have >100 people). My wife thought I would find solace when she found a link about how the average wedding costs like $30,000 these days. I didn't.
We did 13 people on an island on a Wednesday. The food was by Blaine Wetzel and we paid less than $3500 all in. Have the wedding you want to have, not the wedding the industry wants to bully you into. So long as you get the memories you want out of it, there is no price range.
Mine was about $2,000. $600 for the dress, $500 for the photographer, and I guess around $1,000 for the rest. We had the wedding and reception at a small bed and breakfast that supplied the caterers. Our cake was made by a Mexican baker who had done lots of quinceañeras, and while the decoration came out different than I wanted (probably due to the communication barrier) it was still beautiful and delicious. The reception was in the afternoon so we had drinks and hors d'oeuvres instead of a full meal. The ex and I were both introverts so we only had I think around 30 guests, mostly family members. There was a champagne toast, but we didn't have an open bar. We definitely were going for a budget wedding. It was rushed, too, because I found out I was pregnant a few months after we got engaged. It turned into a bit of a shotgun wedding to get on his insurance for the pregnancy. We pulled it off in just two months from when the pregnancy was discovered. It was good to only have two months of wedding planning stress, but I would not recommend a shotgun wedding, personally, nor do I recommend getting knocked up before the deal is sealed.
Ha. You're not cheap. You're looking at venues which cost $5,000. My venue cost $15 for the permit in a beautiful park. It was in September on the Sunday before Labor Day and perfect. We rented chairs for maybe $100. Our minister was the same guy that my parents used and cost around $100. There were flowers for maybe $250 total. My wife's dress was a prom dress that she got on sale for $90. My suit was my Air Force dress uniform which I got for 8 years of my life. The photographer was not certified for his union yet so he only cost $600 including a lot of prints but we had to agree that he could use our photographs for his portfolio and advertisements for his work. Now he charges $1,500 for a wedding. We had a chocolate fountain and fruits and pot-luck food and it was a really good time. Our cake was the most expensive thing that I wouldn't have spent money on but it was a gift from my parents and cost around $500. All told our wedding cost $3,000 maybe. Everyone was fed and happy. Couldn't have been much more perfect for me. Had an awesome time, and I've been married 10 years in September. Weddings can cost a lot, and finances are a huge strain on a new marriage. Why add a huge strain to a fledgling relationship? Or even a strong one? Unless you both want a huge wedding of course, then do what you want.
I am cheap, my fiance on the other hand... I'm trying to convince her to go the park route. She's currently trying to find that one perfect place that has everything and costs nothing. Hopefully she'll find some perspective in her search.
I don't know how to help you there. The park that I got married in was donated by the Busch family as it used to be one of their mansions. That gave it a lot of architectural flavor that a normal park won't have. If you're looking for a park you might look for something like that to perk up the park for your spouse. I linked a picture of where I was married in my original comment. That's the mansion in the background and I got married in front of the fountain.
She loves the woods and there are some historic towns in the foothills of NC that have been preserved for some 150 years. I'm thinking I could corner one of those, place a few tents, and probably be good. The other side of it is that this is the first really big project we've worked on together, so it's more about finding that middle ground than anything else.
We skipped on the ceremony, neither of us like being up in front of people or a lot of formality. We each made a list of about ten people from our own side of the family and some mutual friends, rented out the top floor of our favorite cafe (who also did the catering and had a small PA setup we could use). Everyone dressed up and we had a very nice dinner party together. Not more than $2500 I think, but it's been a while and I don't remember. I don't know who you feel you need to impress, but I personally feel you should have the Wedding you want for yourselves and invite the people that love you to share in the occasion. Don't worry about what you are "supposed" to do.
Myself and my ex, instead of spending a fortune on everything we asked friends that instead of buying presents they contribute to the day. One group organised a buffet, another sorted the rings, the car was provided by the best man and his family. It was probably the only great thing about the marriage. Everybody felt part of it and had a good time. I spent a total of £3,000 including a long weekend away in the countryside.
We dropped entirely too much money. $14,000 between our ceremony and reception. We'd rather have had a smaller ceremony but parents insisted on certain things. Altogether it was good, and I suppose that 14k is distressingly average.