Somebody told me once that nobody really cares about you. Sure, your friends and family care about your well-being and happiness, but that's about it.
I used to care so much about what people thought of me. When I wanted to do something, I'd sit there and wonder "Will people think I look stupid?" It'd get to me so much, that I missed out on a lot of things. There was so much genuine fun out there that I could have partaken in, but I was too afraid to get involved. I'd sit there and look at all of the people doing whatever and envying them. It got to a point, where I just stopped doing anything. I fell into this depression and started developing social anxiety, and it got so bad that I just didn't do anything at all; I'd just sit inside on the internet all day.
One day, I was browsing a thread on Reddit and someone explained that, for the most part, people really don't think about you. Everyone around you has a life. They have their own goals, problems, and desires. If you're out there doing something weird, they probably just go "Haha, that's a little strange. I hope Alex doesn't start anything at work again..." and go on with their day. There's just too much going on in their lives to dedicate any time to whatever you're doing.
It made me realize that even I don't think that much about what the people around me are doing. I mean, I notice them and think about it for a minute, but at the end of the day, I've all but forgotten about it. I don't remember anything cringy that someone did in middleschool. I don't remember anything strange that someone said to me at school. I don't remember any thing that anyone has really messed up on. All of these things that I lose sleep over are pointless to waste time thinking about, because I'm the only person that cares.
I remember the time I sent Lauren some weird message over Facebook in 8th grade, but she probably doesn't. I bet she doesn't even really remember who I am, let alone anything I did. I remember the time I said something really mean to Tyler's sister like a decade ago, but I wouldn't recognize her if I walked past her on the street, even if I heard someone call her name.
Everyone has memories, but only a select few last a long time. The rest get pushed out or replaced with something more recent or important. What I say or do today won't really have an effect on my life years down the road, or even tomorrow. If I want to go do something weird today, I can, because tomorrow whoever saw probably won't remember it. They'll be off thinking about tonight's dinner, or whether or not Janet is into him, or the dog food they have to pick up on the way home.
In the end, it's not that it doesn't even matter - it's that nobody really cares.