I hate to be "that" person recommending Nietzsche, but I'm working on him for my dissertation, and he's all I'm thinking about lately. One of his thoughts revolves around the task of ceasing to being ashamed of yourself. In order to do this, self-affirmation is necessary. It becomes the key to achieving what goals you have set for yourself. Shame is a product of an internalization of what we perceive the world around us to expect, require or demand of us. It's different from guilt, in that guilt is internally motivated: for example you may feel guilty about being grouchy at someone. But shame is the feeling that you are not worthy or that you are distasteful to others in some capacity. Overcoming shame becomes key to achieving your goals, because if you are constantly hung up on shame, it is going to be rather difficult to focus on the self-who-has goals, the self-who-acts and seeks out their destiny in the world.

Goals are difficult to achieve if you are constantly thinking about how you look, how people are judging you, etc. I know that when I'm out and about, that is also what I think about: I start imagining that people are judging me. I remind myself to cease being ashamed for whatever it is I think they are judging me about. So, I walk funny, even if it's true, I should embrace this, self-affirm it: I am a funny walker. All of these people walk the same, but I walk different. That is me.

What I really appreciate about Nietzsche's works is beyond the stereotypical kind of associations people have of him, he's an astounding observer and investigator of human nature. He is fascinated by what makes humans tick psychologically, and how these psychical forces produce and reflect in their behaviors, including large scale societal make ups. I find that focusing on this kind of work also helps me get out of my skin a bit, because I can redirect my hyper-intensive analyzing brain to something, you know, actually kind of useful, or at least not soul-sucking and depressing (i.e., social anxiety).

So pickup a copy of The Genealogy of Morals and The Gay Science and have fun :)