Hey Corvus, thanks for sharing this, I'm glad you felt comfortable posting it. Similar things have come up here before (we're all growing and changing all the time and communication is a key part of that, and with a close-knit community you find things like get posted). I liked this bit a lot: Which is true, everybody has baggage or a struggle that they are going through. What we see on social media or what we see in passing are the curtains, it's only until you become very close with someone that these issues present themselves and people feel comfortable enough talking about them. Every person has their own problems, and it's important to remember that and I'm glad you've had that realization. I went through a lot of the stuff you've gone through and just graduated from university. But during my time I had some mental issues related to depression in particular and some bouts of anxiety with that and wasn't particularly suicidal, but would be okay with an accident. It's a tough place to be at, as you know, but I think you now have the mindset to know that states of mind like that will pass and how to constructively deal with those experiences.And I learned that the world isn't as black and white as I thought it was, and that some problems are harder to solve than they may seem to at first. I suddenly realized that other people also sometimes have to deal with this, and that lead me to acknowledge a whole other dimension to people's personalities that I had never really considered before.
It feels awesome to know that a lot of people have gone through what I have. Yeah, that is one of the big realizations I had going through this. And it was strange. And more, at first I was actually mad! I was so upset that before I could walk through life without having to acknowledge that sometimes other people's problems are more complicated than they seem. While before everything seemed to have an easy solution, now every problem seemed much more complicated, now I had to factor in people's personalities and anxieties, their motives and their point of view. Of course, I eventually understood that, while maybe simpler, what I saw before wasn't the truth. It was a gross oversimplification of other's life's and that it was arrogant of me to think I could find easy solutions to everybody's problems. Of course, it was just the shock at first, but I learned to deal with it. And hopefully I'm wiser for it. Seriously, the best thing I got from this is that these states of mind pass. Maybe today you're feeling a bit down, but the certainty that they'll pass really helps. In the begining it was hard to convince myself that it would pass because I'd never been through it before and didn't want to search for help, and that's the only thing that really scared me -- that I would feel like that forever. It did pass though, and now I have a much easier time dealing with those states of mind. Hell, during my last two panic attacks one of the things that helped me through them was thinking that if I was having one today I (hopefully) wouldn't have another for a good month or so.