Oh I'm set. I've got a Texas network.
Can I come with you when the fedgov takes over Texas and implements martial law? Buddy of mine who's into conspiracy stuff proposed that all this flooding would be a convenient excuse to impose a state of emergency. Sure, man. Governments sponsored natural disasters.
Reporters are calling it "Project Noah", the leaked details of a chemtrail cloudseeding campaign powered by HAARP that targeted Texas almost exclusively. The resulting floods then delivered a mind-control agent designed to trigger mass-suicide on a statewide level. Of course, all of this was decreed by our alien allies in the Local Intragalactic Republic chapter, who have repeatedly expressed their disdain towards the general populace of Texas.
"Hubski-Tex-Pocalypse Meetup". There's you a nice portmanteau, flag. Anyway, I'll be there, you're going to want am_Unition.