I'm in a pickle. I have this thing, I'm not sure what to call it, where I hate being hated. To be more specific, I hate being hated or profoundly and repeatedly misunderstood, particularly by someone who I am constantly around. My new job in Detroit seemed like a dream job: after a year of service with AmeriCorps where I served as a team leader with projects all across the upper midwest, I landed a job with an organization I served where I will be acting as a project manager and liaison for another AmeriCorps team. Yay! What a cool thing, to use my knowledge of the program, what being on a team is like, and knowing what Detroit is like and what the organization will expect, all for the team's benefit. I'll even be making (a little) money this time, too! What could possibly go wrong? Well, this new team leader is a stone cold bitch. To say it a little more objectively, she refuses to communicate with me unless I hunt her down, and even then it's begrudging and curt and I'm made to feel like I'm inconveniencing her with my very existence. She accuses me of power tripping and treating her team like they're "slow children" when I teach them how to paint properly. I've tried having conversations with her where I try to get to know her better, explain where I'm coming from, make myself available to her as a resource in anyway, I respect her authority over her team entirely, and so far, I haven't gotten anywhere except a crazy tense environment where we're merely tolerating each other, and I feel terrified of doing something that could in any way be construed as... I don't know, ammunition for her to complain up the rank about me.
I fucking hate it. I dread my day. Normally, I'd be content to let the universe teach her a lesson and be on my merry way. Yet I'm very well stuck in this situation. The organization really needs the team's assistance, as well as me to direct and coordinate the work. There's another 6 weeks left. There's no way I can "fire" her, they're volunteers, and plus I don't think that's really a solution. I just don't know what to do. And I hate being irrationally misunderstood and despised. So pubski, *clinks glass* hope you're day's been better.
I spent the day with my boss, wondering if tomorrow I'd be the guy that was next on the "ax" list. I'm not. But I have had weeks of wondering. I'm not out of the woods by any stretch, but I have at least another few months of safety. This is no way to exist though. As per your problem, I feel for you. There really is only one solution for such things and it's communication. Usually, this would entail a third party as witness. Sit down with her and in a calm, thoughtful and genuine way explain how she is making you feel. Let her know that you want nothing more than to work together and ask how you could be a better teammate. -Having a third party there is paramount. DO NOT DO THIS WITHOUT SOMEONE ELSE PRESENT THAT HAS NO "skin" in the game. Better yet someone that outranks you both. Good luck!
I probably should have such a meeting. I reread my earlier post, and something struck me as so obvious in my own writing that I have to highlight it: I am the part of the universe teaching her a lesson, or I very well could be. I have to stick it out. Duh. Hopefully this is one of those situations where you look back and everything worked out just the way it needed to. Because despite my immediate desire to see her outed as insecure and paranoid, have her squirm under the weight of my common sense position... I still most want this to end happily for the both of us.Normally, I'd be content to let the universe teach her a lesson and be on my merry way. Yet I'm very well stuck in this situation.