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comment by nowaypablo
nowaypablo  ·  3393 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: The 2015 Goals Weekly Morale Menagerie - Fortnightly Check-in (15th Jan)

1) Getting baked way too much! It's not getting in the way of anything and I'm being as smart as possible relative to how stupid it is, but it's just too often and too accessible. I'm planning on taking everything I have to a party tomorrow, smoking everyone out and getting rid of it all that way so I have no more temptation. Break period for my goal extended from the end of February to mid March. I'd like to know that I'm capable of holding off for 2 months.

2) SAT's next week! Sweet fuck! I'm ready.

3) I decided to revert my $$$ spent on some hardware for music production, and buy a ticket to GovBall instead. As far as recording songs or dropping an album goes, I'm writing lyrics and doing all I can prior to actually beginning the endeavor!

Good luck to all on your goals!!





rezzeJ  ·  3393 days ago  ·  link  ·  

The memory of my second year undergrad is pretty much a haze of smoke, so I feel you on that one. They were amazing times. But then, not having assured that I'd get no sleep, lose my appetite, and generally be searching for it until I had some. It ended up in a crazy panic attack follow by a year of anxiety, paranoia, and doubt. I don't intend to sound like an anti-drug PSA or anything. I mean, I still smoke it now, sometimes copiously, it's great.

What i'm saying is that it's easy to say that you're 'getting baked too much' or your 'being smart' about it, but sometimes you don't fully realise until you're in too deep. Just a friendly word of advice. Be mindful. It's a much more enjoyable drug when enjoyed in moderation. I probably smoke a few days every fortnight now. You're smarter than I was, so I'm sure it's all good.

Just googled 'GovBall' and it looks pretty sweet. Kb mentioned mobile apps. There's plenty of free tools out there you can get for touch screen devices to have a play around with electronic music stsuff. Might be a nice way to experiment whilst you're waiting for the $.

nowaypablo  ·  3393 days ago  ·  link  ·  

You're absolutely right about not realizing until I'm in too deep. It's what I'm trying to avoid now, while 'being smart' may not be the right word I'm at least not being 'completely utterly stupid,' but if I don't watch it I could easily fall to that level as well. Since this is my first time experiencing this sorta thing, I'll figure out how to handle it and I think I'll be fine. You're right though, I used to space it out a month at a time and every time was epic and memorable.. at this point it's kinda just alright. Hm.

just for context, Governor's Ball is the major music festival on the East coast, relative to Bonnaroo or Lalapalooza in the Midwest and Coachella on the West coast. now i gotta learn how to save money!

thundara  ·  3393 days ago  ·  link  ·  

    He'd simply smoke so much so fast that it would be so unpleasant and the memory of it so repulsive that once he'd consumed it and gotten it out of his home and his life as quickly as possible he would never want to do it again. He would make it his business to create a really bad set of debauched associations with the stuff in his memory. The dope scared him. It made him afraid. It wasn't that he was afraid of the dope, it was that smoking it made him afraid of everything else. It had long since stopped being a release or relief or fun. This last time, he would smoke the whole 200 grams—120 grams cleaned, destemmed — in four days, over an ounce a day, all in tight heavy economical one-hitters off a quality virgin bong, an incredible, insane amount per day, he'd make it a mission, treating it like a penance and behavior-modification regimen all at once, he'd smoke his way through thirty high-grade grams a day, starting the moment he woke up and used ice water to detach his tongue from the roof of his mouth and took an antacid — averaging out to 200 or 300 heavy bong-hits per day, an insane and deliberately unpleasant amount, and he'd make it a mission to smoke it continuously, even though if the marijuana was as good as the woman claimed he'd do five hits and then not want to take the trouble to load and one-hit any more for at least an hour. But he would force himself to do it anyway. He would smoke it all even if he didn't want it. Even if it started to make him dizzy and ill. He would use discipline and persistence and will and make the whole experience so unpleasant, so debased and debauched and unpleasant, that his behavior would be henceforward modified, he'd never even want to do it again because the memory of the insane four days to come would be so firmly, terribly emblazoned in his memory. He'd cure himself by excess.
nowaypablo  ·  3393 days ago  ·  link  ·  

This is a beautiful, dramatic, well-written, and terrible plan. I love it.