comment by lessismore

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lessismore · 4686 days ago · link · · parent · post: An awful moral dilemma.

When you hold her for the first time, you're going to have the most incredible life altering experience ever. Everything will melt away and all you see, hear, and feel will be her. She will instantly become the very center of your universe.

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steve · 4686 days ago · link ·

I'm truly not trying to start a fight here - I find your choice of words interesting. I have a gaggle of kids. And though I can appreciate the emotion and idea you're conveying, I think "center of your universe" is a dangerous thing. Is the child more important than your spouse? Is the child more important than the job you need to feed the child? What about the next kid if you have more? Is the newest baby the center and the first kids gets bumped out to a neighboring orbit?

I'm genuinely not trying to pick a fight. I love all of my kids. like... a lot. And I can identify with that experience of holding that first kid for the first time. But magic aside, I also remember other life altering experiences of holding that first kid (and each subsequent kid) at 3 in the morning whilst they cry and cry and cry and wonder if or when I'll ever have 3 uninterrupted hours of sleep again.

+discuss+discuss

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lessismore · 4686 days ago · link ·

I cannot speak for the second child since I only have one at the moment. I reserve the right to get back to you on how I feel when the second one comes along. :)

For me personally, the first time I held my son, he was the very center of my universe and remains so still. Is he more important than my spouse? I would have to say yes. If I were to ask my wife if our son is more important to her than I, I am certain she would say yes also. It is not because we don't love each other. Far from it, it simply means that we love our son more.

I recall the sleep deprivation, the piss in the face, and the runny stool on me all too well. As I am sure you will agree, it was all worth it and them some.