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comment by b_b

Do you think you would have been a good parent fifteen years ago? At 32, I'm confident that if I had a kid now I could do a reasonably good job raising her/him. I think in my twenties I didn't understand a lot about human connections, and that I would have not been great at it as a result. Not that I'd be neglectful, but I think that I've gotten more sensitive to others as I've aged and reflected. Anyway it's nice to hear things working out this way. It seems like bad parenting is often cyclic, and it takes a really in touch person to break the cycle.





kleinbl00  ·  2757 days ago  ·  link  ·  

A good parent? Certainly. Not quite as good a parent? Not sure. Thing if it is, I have literally dreaded being a parent my entire life. Not a selfish thing, but a "the cycle ends here" sort of thing. I had naturally assumed that the rigors of parenting would reveal me to be the selfish, incompetent asshole I truly am as a wailing blob of protoplasm rendered my true self to the detriment of all.

At 25 I still woulda done a damn fine job, and my entire worldview would have shifted that much earlier.

I was raised to believe in no uncertain terms that kids are terrible and they destroy your life. It couldn't be further from the truth. And the gap between those positions is one filled with personal and familial insights that I'd rather not plumb.