Ha! I just finished reading a chapter in Edward Luce's new book which states that the emphasis on self-esteem over self-actualization is the biggest factor in the decline of the average American student. Advice like "stop comparing yourself to others" is akin to setting kids up for failure -- throughout life you will be compared with others in a practical sense (jobs, school, society, even potential mates) and you've got to learn the brain trick of accepting that while simultaneously realizing that there's not always shame in being judged "less." EDIT: to what does the course material pertain?
That's fantastic. I'll have to order a copy. Don't you think you need some self-esteem to even be able to go for self-actualization. It's all about finding out who you are and being okay with yourself enough to want to "actualize" as Maslow used to say. By the way, I'm fond of Maslow's needs theories but there are several other theories of human needs - I can't get into it here. Anyway, I wonder what Luce is on to - I'll check it out. There's lots to argue with the above list and #4 is arguable. #7 is difficult. It's like the list of instructions on how to be funny is to "hang around with funny people." It's awesome if you can find them, but you'd have to buy them a lot of dinners to get them to hang around with you if you are not funny. ha ha. Always lots to discuss, but I have to run. The course is called "interpersonal communication" in one context and "communication skills for computer scientists" in another. Edit as you can imagine, I bought a certain funny person a lot of dinners. I am much funnier than I used to be. It was worth every penny.
I think you need honesty to self-actualize. Sometimes self-esteem is honest -- when it's earned, not given. Pretty significant difference and you see that playing out in k-12 all across America. Luce, you know, the book is kind of sad ... he lists America's problems. I'm about a third of the way through, he's still talking about education. He interviews charter schools, Bill Gates, Obama staffers, idea guys, everything in between -- and then the chapter ends with him talking to the president of Stanford, who says that the problem would solve itself in 25 years if parents would just read to their children from the ages of 0-6. He's right, and everyone else is just talking...Don't you think you need some self-esteem to even be able to go for self-actualization.
What about the idea that slightly depressed people actually see the world most accurately? This was found in a study and probably written up by tons of crap journals, let me see if I can find it...oh here's wikipedia Guess it's controversial. But anyway, if optimistic/"well adjusted" people are more likely to believe that the world favors them, that things happen to favor them, etc - more likely to attribute chance events to fate or having "deserved" them - what does that mean for the idea that you need honesty for self-actualization? Is true self-honesty possible?
I think the people who say "stop comparing yourself to others" know that too. As far as I can tell, what they mean by "stop comparing yourself to others" is "stop determining your worth by how much you compare to others". While other people may do that, doing it to yourself is worse. Advice like "stop comparing yourself to others" is akin to setting kids up for failure -- throughout life you will be compared with others in a practical sense (jobs, school, society, even potential mates) and you've got to learn the brain trick of accepting that while simultaneously realizing that there's not always shame in being judged "less."