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comment by fallingleaves
fallingleaves  ·  3766 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: What did you have to learn the hard way?

Hey I'm a sensitive guy too. To me being a man is being a good person, being self-aware of your place in the world, caring for others and yourself. I think people tend to think of masculinity and femininity as binaries, when in reality they are a spectrum with most people falling somewhere in-between. I reject many of the traditional personality traits that men are expected to follow, like in this diagram:





_refugee_  ·  3766 days ago  ·  link  ·  

As a female - I told Meriadoc tonight at our meetup that even in my dreams I yell at men who pursue me until they see I am "owned" by another man (I have a tattoo on my ring finger; I am actually single).

This ties in tangentially to "views women as property/objects," and I am glad you avoid that, and I encourage all others to do so as well. It is important, I think, to accept that sometimes a woman or man will not want to be with you, and them being "taken" is not the only viable reason for that.

cgod  ·  3766 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I like your perspective. I think way too many people spend most their time identifying themselves by their sex or sexual orientation. I'm not arguing for asexualness, just that there there are many things more important in life than weather you have a penis or a vagina and weather you'd like to be digging into a penis or a vagina.

I identify with being a person a lot more than I do with being a man. I'd rather be a kind, gentle, generous person than I'd like to be any kind of man's man. I'm doing pretty good at the person-hood but probably have a ways to go on the gentle, generous and kind.

I'm not against exploring or celebrating ones sex or sexual orientation either, I just don't think it needs to be the core of ones being, that which uplifts, tortures or preoccupies most of ones time. The people who are ruled by their sex or drives seem to be trapped in some kind of eternal high school to me.

Feel like I'm coming down to hard on identifying with ones sex or orientation, don't know how to take the judgmental edge of it. I tend bar once a month for a gay dance party event, not the absolute best money I'll make in a day once a month but it's pretty good. It's for an absolutely great bunch of guys just hanging out having a good time being gay. Makes me happy to see the happiness, romance and just plain old social fellowship they enjoy at the event. I know a few of them outside the event as people, good natured, generous and sociable not preoccupied by their sexuality at all. They seem to have hit at a great balance.

Not picking on the gays. The hetero guys that are always on the prowl or looking for a fight and the ladies that are always looking to fend off the come on or sizing up each man as a potential mate are odious, unhappy dullards who make life a little more banal and joyless. They would all be happier if they could act like and treat people like people instead of dicks and pussies.