I am a walking bag of wrong assumptions (towards me and sometimes from me onto others) Half arabic/half polish, living in Israel, studying in Germany, blond/brown curly hair, speaks different languages etc. This combination leads to weird (and sometimes funny) situations. Depending on what part of the story a person I just met knows, it can take different turns. An example: Last thursday, I was invited to a party at some jewish friend's ranch, many people were present and I was new to this social circle, so I naturally introduced myself to the people. I was talking in english to them, my hebrew is rusty after 6 years in germany and drunk english is just easier. People assumed I am a german jew that just came to the country a few months ago and is just learning hebrew (somebody who did an Aliah - עליה) and tried to build a conversation on that, asking me how I like it in Israel and so on. Until they asked where I came from and were shocked to be told that I was born and raised in an arabic town about 15min away by car... That is where the interesting part starts, what do they do with this sudden change of structure? How do they deal with it? Another example would be if they already now my name and my origin (introduced to one another on Facebook) and then assume and apply all the stereotypes known about arabs on be and then be totally surprised that I support polyamorous relationships, show interest in psychedelic drugs and the pillow-like shape under my shirt is not a bomb but a cute beer-belly... I am also guilty of assumptions. Assuming a person is gay just because they are male and listen to Shakira or the assumption that all hippies enjoy smoking weed or something. It feels like our brains like making shortcuts like assumptions. To make analyzing every single person we meet/interact with faster or more efficient while we should actually try and experience every person individually... How do we turn that off?
I'm not sure we can turn it off, but we can monitor it. We can note our assumptions and look for further evidence before "believing" them. Also, we have to avoid becoming too fond of our judgements, assumptions, and perceptions. One technique is to train yourself to throw away the first interpretation of an event, observation, or behaviour and look for another, less obvious one. Then look for a third. Many factors influence which perceptions we select and how we interpret them. These factors include our self-esteem, our mood that day, past experiences with a person or location, expectations, and so on. Also notice when other people make assumptions around you and ask them why they see it that way. You'll probably discover their assumptions are based on some past experience, not the direct experience that you talk about.It feels like our brains like making shortcuts like assumptions. To make analyzing every single person we meet/interact with faster or more efficient while we should actually try and experience every person individually...
Yes, exactly.
I see these assumptions in Israel alot, specially when it comes to what the arabic people think about the jewish population and vice versa. Except, that (in my opinion) the jewish population assumes so much more about the arabic population and the cities they live in. Most of it comes from the media and the education at schools (we have different education systems for arabic schools vs. jewish schools). I had to learn this the hard way when I first encountered the israeli Burning Man community, I have overcome most of the first problems by actually realizing that I am the one who made most of the wrong assumptions even though I thought that I am not doing them,,,I'm not sure we can turn it off, but we can monitor it. We can note our assumptions and look for further evidence before "believing" them. Also, we have to avoid becoming too fond of our judgements, assumptions, and perceptions.
One technique is to train yourself to throw away the first interpretation of an event, observation, or behaviour and look for another, less obvious one. Then look for a third.