I hate it when someone (usually on an online dating site or blind date) says, "I'm an open book. Ask me anything."

Frequently, this comment is really a cop-out. It appears that the speaker is forthcoming, honest, and has nothing to hide. However, usually, you don't know the person well enough when they make such a comment to actually assess if this statement is probably true.

More importantly, such a remark places the onus of the entire conversation solely on the other party. "I'm an open book, but I can't be bothered to determine what's actually interesting about myself to disclose casually, or to spark your interest."

"I'm an open book if you interrogate me, but I don't have anything to offer up un-solicited."

It is a lazy way to start a conversation.

I have always wanted to ask someone who said such or similar to me, "OK. Tell me whatever it is you don't want me to know."

I think the response would interest me more than "What is your favorite color/food/animal/clothing material?" for sure. It would also put the person who is too lazy to drive a conversation right back in the front seat. And if anyone were ever honest answering, I would learn tons.

I have not had to ask this yet. I admit, however, to inquiring, "What is your trauma?" and "Why are you here?" of recent would-be paramours.

I do challenge people. But I would rather hear the interesting answers to the hard questions than know what your middle name is. And I certainly will not do you the favor of 'making the conversation happen' if you cannot even come up with an icebreaker but merely shove it back on me with "I'll say anything, so long as you ask."

It's like "I can write about anything....but I need you to give me a prompt." Bitch, don't say you can write about anything. If I need to give you a prompt, you can't. - At least, you can't deal with a non-parametered situation. I understand, the hardest topic is "anything." But you should know what is safe to go with, conversationally, at least; and you should be interested enough that you willingly offer information, not make me pick it out of you like the flesh from a crab. Sure interrogation is satisfying in its own right but I'm not impressed by people who make me do all the work.

/rant

"Bring me a question" says, "tell me what you find interesting." it says, "bring something to the conversation." it says, "think a little bit, instead of pretending to be an open book when really, you just can't be arsed to come up with one single thing."

I like that approach, too. It is less offensive (in the sports, offensive/defensive, as well as social, way). I have got tired of dating people who aren't worth it. I choose being a little offensive over not. I suppose I have an aggressive dating strategy. I tell you what though, it can help save time a lot.

Edit II: Your man's return question was a cop-out, definitely. I can only assume he was intimidated and/or scared. He was afraid of investment and revealing. He took the easy route. (And self-flattering, by the way, if he has the awareness to know if he is any good at writing and his pursuits.)

The thing is I find it scarier to ask how someone likes my poem, than something like "What it is you do not like about me?" I accept that not everyone may like or understand me. I don't always like or understand myself. But my poetry? Ah, that's a blind spot.

Sometimes I send my poems that I like a lot to people who I know will be critical because I know I like them too much, and I need someone to bring me back down to earth about them. The ardor springs from two factors: a) actual qualities in the poem; b) how recently I wrote it. But as for me I know myself too well (and work to continually know myself as honestly as possible) to suffer much similar blindness. It is not so hard to hear what others think my flaws are, (I know I have plenty and that is not a shock) as it is to send someone a poem I wrote that I love, and hope (but fear!) that they will or will not like it.