. . . one of these days I'll figure out where "the right women" hang out
Still haven't gotten around to trying that out, but I did hear on the radio that divorce rates among people who met online are lower than the norm. I'm not thinking of settling down or anything, but I think it speaks to the quality of the experience.
I don't know of it's good for dating, but at least there are people to appreciate your writing. I was mostly being tongue in cheek about how you can find anting on the internet. But in reality something doesn't sit well with me about internet dating. At least as far as dating services are concerned, it seems to lack serendipity, one of the most fun parts of meeting someone new.
Yeah, the concept of internet dating takes a bit of the romance out of romance. If it works out though, what are the odds that two compatible people living close to each other would subscribe to the same service? The odds of loneliness though, are high. Even talking about it is an emotional roller coaster. Or maybe a carousel.
Better than the odds those two people will meet in real life, have the courage to approach the other and talk long enough and confidently enough to leave a positive impression... oh and get their contact information so they can go on a date sometime? Because that happens everyday right? Maybe for "pick up artists", but let's be honest here... :) I did online dating, but prefer to remember it as "online meeting". I'd exchange one or two emails and then ask to meet. I had ZERO interest in going back in forth and talking online, but I was interested in finding a new avenue to get dates other than the bar scene or work (which as a early thirties something were my only real options). So I'd say hi, make a joke, ask a couple questions, and then say "Hey lets go get drinks tomorrow night" and that's that. I still went on tons of first dates, and it didn't take the romance or awkwardness out of it at all. Got me to meet lots of different women, some compatible, some not, some I dated for awhile, some met just once, and all in all it was a fun experience... not to different from regular dating, but more of a "semi-blind date". And again, the odds are pretty good, at least in my area, to find a lot of interesting people on dating sites. Many there for the same reasons I was. Getting older, busy with work, and not really finding any real "venue" to find new people to date consistently, and most of them were of the more intellectual nature and surprisingly all pretty successful and funny. I was surprised. I was pessimistic about it for the longest time, an admittedly mocked people who did it... now I'm getting married in a few months to someone I never would have met had I not done it. I'm one of those stupid "met online" statistics, and the only thing I hate about it is having to tell people we met online. It's not for everyone, but just chipping in with my two cents of personal experience.what are the odds that two compatible people living close to each other would subscribe to the same service?
I could be wrong, but I wonder if the root of the embarrassment might lie in this: looking on line or in ads for a partner is an admission of wanting to partner up, and could be perceived by others as a failure to have met people through previously conventional means. I think meeting people online is the current conventional means. I lived 40 miles from a bigger city, so in my case I learned to date people from the big city and always meet in the big city or mid-way; and to screen for psychopaths and other personal idiosyncratic stuff. Went on several first dates, quite a few second and more dates... it was an interesting time for sure, all that while college teaching and raising a child.now I'm getting married in a few months
Hey congratulations. I'm not embarrassed to have met my husband from a pre-internet personal ad. It was where the university professors went for dates -- I went out with 1) a toxicologist who lived in another city but had grown up a few blocks from where I lived and had been in my sister's high school graduating class; 2) a math professor who cured me of my PTS panic attacks; and 3) eventually my current spousal unit - a computer science prof.I still went on tons of first dates, and it didn't take the romance or awkwardness out of it at all.
I bet you learned a lot about the process by going on lots of dates. I sure did:
Indeed. That's honestly the best part. I'm a pretty forward and social person, so I don't get nervous on first dates, but certainly got a lot better at "enjoying" first dates having gone on so many of them with what were essentially strangers. It was a good learning experience, and really helped me pinpoint what I was looking for in a girl on a first date. I guess I'm not really embarrassed by it either when I tell people, but let's just say it would be an easier conversation if I was like "we met through a friend". But when you tell them "online", they have so many questions, the main one being "How long before you met, did you guys talk for a longtime?" They assume we "dated" online, which isn't the case. I think I messaged my fiancee on a Sunday, she messaged me back once, and I messaged her back the following day to setup a date. The only portion of our relationship was less than 24 hours, and was pretty much only to setup a date. But I think people assume that people talk online forever first, which wasn't my experience at all. People on most dating sites want just that, A DATE. Not to talk to someone online for weeks or months.I bet you learned a lot about the process by going on lots of dates.
I'm not embarrassed to have met my husband from a pre-internet personal ad