We met in high school. I totally had a crush on her. I would watch her paint. I remember sitting in the hall either before or after school and she was just sitting on the floor finishing a painting for class. I would get angry when people walked up to her and interrupted by asking who the subject of the painting was (it was David Bowie). She directed a student play that I was in. She was a very take-charge type pf person and everyone was scared of her.
I wasn't scared of her, she was just very brash and truthful to people's face. I've never been that way, but I agreed with everything she said, so it was never intimidating.
But high school was drama full. There was some flirting, light cuddling. But I kinda pulled back when she wrote a teenagery angst filled blog post (she didn't know I knew about her blog) about how she was unsure and confused.
After high school I moved to another state. And it wasn't until then we started talking regularly again. Occasional text messages, turned into occasional phone calls, turned into daily calls, turned into regular evening calls that would span for hours into the night. It was not uncommon for one of us to wake up still on the phone at 4 am to finally end the call.
After less than a year I moved back and we started dating in earnest.
After 3 years of us still living with parents and getting crap from them for getting to close without getting married...we moved in together.
Marriage to me has always been kind of pointless. I've been pretty non-religious since I was twelve. So there were no religious benefits. I felt no need to tell the government that this is the person I've chosen to bond with. I don't actually think there should be tax benefits just for getting married.
Overall, our relationship grew beautifully. We built a life together, and we keep to ourselves as much as possible. This is our relationship. No one else gets a say and everyone else seems to think they do.
Maybe I was acting rebellious, but I had no intention of getting married just to appease our parents. Just so they'd feel less sad for us due to their religious beliefs.
Our plan was just to be together.
Ultimately, after a decade mY bitterness towards marriage waned a bit. And I knew that it was something that she really wanted. After a while I started joking that I was just waiting for her to ask me. Truthfully, if she had, I would have said yes.
So for me the real reason I proposed, was because I love her and I knew that she wanted that. But I also knew that she loved me, and was willing to and was probably ready to give that up for me.
We had what many people would consider a very small wedding, admittedly my ideal would have been a trip alone to the courthouse and a secret vacation, with no announcement, but I gave that up for her and she planned a great party, even if I thought there were too many people there.