I just started my first real, post-college job. I'm at a desk from nine to six (minus an hour for lunch). That's too long. It's driving me crazy.
I had ludicrous amounts of free time in college. I don't know why. Not that I'd have it any other way -- I need more downtime than most people need of sleep. And high school was at least highly structured. But work? Work is endless, work is repetitive. I thought, "Even if this job is terrible, just suffer through it until another place extends an offer," but what's terrible about my job isn't specific to my employer. It is, I assume, ubiquitous in at least my field (software engineering) and many others. In fact, I thought I'd love throwing myself into work. "I'll be too young to value my own time for years!" I thought. Whoops.
I know people get acclimated to how life is basically hell, e.g. I'm not still crying every time I have to eat something green, but ought I to get used to this? I don't want constant novelty, adventure, just some more of my own time.
Aside from taking selfies and photoshopping $'s onto my eyes, how do I come to terms with being adult? Or will I only be happy doing something else?
(Is there a way out? for example becoming Henry David Thereau or taking some kind of drug.)
Here's a question - why do you assume that your time at work isn't your own? I don't mean that to sound snarky, or like a zen koan. It's just this: you got into software engineering for some reason. There's something about this job that made you apply. There's a reason you agreed to do it. Those reasons aren't making themselves evident; that doesn't mean they don't exist, it means you need to seek them out. So you have a real jobby-job. Congratulations. That puts you ahead of a heartbreaking number of your peers. I'm not saying "be grateful and suck it up" I'm saying "make it your own." Work will always be endless. Video games are often endless. Hobbies are endless. Wouldn't it be awesome if vacations were endless? If it's fun, if it's challenging, we don't want it to stop. There's lots of "work" that is the absolute opposite of fun, the absolute opposite of challenging. So turn it around. Take on the challenge of solving the repetitive stuff faster. Find ways to automate it. Seek out shortcuts and efficiencies. Congratulations - you just increased your productivity. You just added value to your employer. Now you have more time to seek out new challenges. Now you have more time to expand your scope. Congratulations - you just added value to your position. You just made yourself that much less replaceable. You've assigned a value judgement to your job. That judgement is "terrible." The thing is, though, no one knows your job like you. No one cares about it like you do. No one has the power to make it better or worse than you. If you signed a 1-year lease on a shitty apartment, would you spend the year going "I hate my apartment" or would you make the best of it? I mean, you're there. You can't get out of it without a shit-ton of pain and inconvenience. Might as well roll up your sleeves and make it your own. IDIOTS acclimate to life as hell. The clever people realize they've got one life to live and maximize their return. You can't turn a shit job into a dream job but you sure as hell can turn a shit job into a crap job, a crap job into a meh job, a meh job into an okay job, an okay job into a pretty good job, and a pretty good job into a great job. It takes time and effort and a lot of people give up but along the way, you'll meet people who will help you, you'll forge connections that will benefit you, you'll learn skills that will assist you and you'll get stories. You know who doesn't get hired? People who bail on their shit jobs. Know who gets hired? People who outgrow their shit jobs and expand their horizons. Nobody wants to hire an overqualified person. They'd rather hire an underqualified person for less money that can rise to the challenge because knowledge acquired natively always outperforms legacy training. Be that underqualified person. Let your reach exceed your grasp. Show ambition to grow out of your shit job, but not until you've made it less shit for the next kid who graduates and takes it on. Make your mark on it. "SleeperService was here, and now it sucks a lot less." Stop thinking of it as a "terrible" job to "suffer through." It's a problem that needs solving, and you're a problem solver. Show your boss. Show the world. Show yourself. If you hit a wall, define the width, breadth, thickness of the wall and seek assistance in breaching or climbing it. 'cuz you know what? Your boss didn't give you a "terrible" job. They gave you the position they had open. You can either show them "terrible" attitude or you can join the team. Not to say vast swaths of it don't suck... ...but doing something about it kicks the shit out of letting it own you. Good luck.
Made me think of this quote : βThe longer I love, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company...a church....a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past...we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude...I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you...we are in charge of our attitudes.β β Charles R. Swindoll
Have you tried coffee? Joking aside, can you elaborate on what you mean by needing more downtime than most people need sleep? What's downtime? What are you doing between leaving work and going to bed? Are your hours fixed, or could you work 7-4 instead? Some people find working earlier in the day seems to free up more time later in the day. Sure you're getting up earlier and correspondingly going to bed earlier, but the difference is there's more daylight after leaving work.or taking some kind of drug.
I think I understand what he means. If he's anything like my current situation, he may have about 7 hours of free time split in two - the issue is that most of everything I want to do would take four to six hours in a single block (or maybe, like me, there's some things that COULD be done in separate blocks but there's momentum - when I start something and am unable to finish it before I have to change activities, it's infuriating). So what he meant by "needing more downtime than most people need sleep" is that he has plans and ideas, and just like sleep - two four-hour blocks is just not the same as one eight-hour block. (As you mentioned, I COULD start working 7-4 - but the day team here sucks major ass. My ideal time would actually be 2AM-11PM so that I would have some solid time where I can do shit without bothering people who want to sleep)
I'm also a software engineer, and have been for seven years. For what it's worth, I was the same way after undergrad, for about a year. I'd get home from work exhausted, and feel like I had no free time, and not feel like doing anything, and just watch TV or play video games. For about a year. After 12β18 months, I got used to it. Now I feel like I do have free time. I get off work, and I code for fun. I work on personal projects. I work on hubski now. I take tai chi twice a week. I went to grad school full time while working. And about 60% of the time, my work is boring. That's why I code for fun. I can't say you'll be the same, but, that was my experience.
I have to ask the same question. I've been working for three years full time and I'm still exhausted when I get home - and didn't even do college.
I think it helps doing work that uses your skills. I'd probably still be that way if I were still sweeping floors. Does your work use your skills? if not, could you find work that does? Or is there a skill you'd like that wouldn't be too hard to get, e.g. at a trade school, e.g. welding?
First question: not really, not always, and never all of them. Second question: No. I'm already lucky enough to have found this job (which as far as job goes it could be MUCH worse) - but I only have high school education, formally, and further education is out of the question (and not even guaranteed to land me a job that would use enough of my skills to satisfy me - I live in a large city with a last reported unemployment rate of 8%, and most jobs that I would very much enjoy would require college or university studies because of the vast amounts of education facilities here). And all skills are very hard to get for me because of my situation - I have pretty much nil spare time or money.