I published this on Medium because I'm having issues with my website at the moment. I've worked on this in various forms for about two years. At one point, it was a ten page research paper, but I found that way too cold. I wanted this to sound like I'm speaking, but that effect is probably lost on those who don't know my oratory style.
I'm pushing this to Hubski first, I'm a bit paranoid about pushing it out to Facebook at the moment.
A powerful and important piece, cashew. It brought many thoughts to mind. I've known a few people who attempted suicide at one or another time in their lives. I have not known anyone who was successful -- however I know one mother whose bipolar daughter killed herself. The mother is absolutely devasted and trying to put her own life back together. I know one son whose father killed himself. Even though the father had a health condition that would kill him anyway, the son, Dave, was deeply affected. The son is 60 now. The father killed himself when the son was in his teens. I just found out that Dave just spent five weeks in Europe researching his father's life in Belgium and the Netherlands during WW2. I believe the suicide of his father affected him so strongly that finally now he is trying to unravel the whole story. Still, I can see how someone might want to end it all. I'm very glad that you are with us and writing with such a personal and authentic voice. You posted this essay about psychic pain more or less in the same time frame as Meriadoc was writing about physical pain. All in all it's been a rough night.
I think that wanting it to sound as if you are speaking translates, in written format, to addressing the audience casually and familiarly, and I think this writing achieves that. I would encourage you to continue working on it until you are satisfied with it. I thought it was a good work, but I'd be interested to see your "even better" version of it as well.
I read this last night and I thought it was a very powerful article. I think the casual style makes it more accessible to the majority. It's a lot more digestible this way than a research paper and I imagine it will hit a lot closer to home for most people.
Thanks for sharing Cashew, it's a lot to think about and I don't really want to offer my own reactions/reflections on it cause it's yours. but I will plug a tag I swear to myself I'll update called #significantstoriesbypablo. You can record yourself talking about whatever you want to., although the last (and only) post on the tag was also about death kinda. Anyway that might come in handy to you if you want to literally sound like you speak. Or something of your own, obviously, just an idea.
Sad and beautiful and familiar, Thomas. Thank you. The most difficult part is to explain the ever-present nature of the whispers of worthlessness to those who have never heard them; that they never cease, rather they are merely submerged and muted occasionally by the tidal wash of hope and engagement in the world.