Maybe the wrong tag for something like this.
I was raised Southern Baptist. Obviously, that didn't work out too well, or else I probably wouldn't participate in this community of PURE HEATHENRY. ahem :) I was never clear about this, growing up (p.s. I'm a dude, guys). Abstinence only sex education is real, growing up in Texas, but female virginity was certainly elevated to a cut above males'. Anyway, by the time I was 19, I'd made my gradual "fall from grace", but still retained my V-card. Before I went into wrist repair surgery, fucked up on a morphine drip, I confided to my mother that I had yet to score a home run. Instead of approval for my lack of philandering, I was met with skepticism and disappointment. This moral dichotomy of Christianity's ideals vs. reality's societal pressures, as exemplified through my mother (multiple times, might I add), was a perfect example of several experiences that put the nail into the coffin of religiosity for me. I was fortunate to have suffered no long-term ill effects, but to this day prefer monogamy with my mate, although she was not my first, and nor was I hers. I definitely don't hate on people who prefer other sexual practices, it's just not really for me. Perhaps it is an artifact of my upbringing, but it just keeps things so... simple. And so, children. I say to go henceforth into the world and experiment, if you feel like it. If you'd prefer not to, then don't. Just make sure you're true to yourself. P.S. if anyone requires a breakdown of this rather immature innuendo, such will be provided upon request.It was entirely possible that my future husband wouldn’t remain pure for me, because he didn’t have that same responsibility, according to the Bible.
That's a great question. I feel like I already believe that waiting until marriage to have sex means that you are probably going to have bad sex. I believe this because I believe, as with many skills or pastimes, that practice is the main way to improve. And good sex isn't just about the physics and physicality of good sex, and knowing how to touch your partner, and where and when; you could argue that with good communication, two virgins could develop into great sexual partners for each other over time. I agree with that. The thing is that I think for most people, especially for people who don't explore their sexuality, actually communicating about that kind of stuff is very difficult. i remember when I was first exploring quasi-offbeat sex. A guy I was talking to started the conversation in the interest of exploring "what I liked." The problem was first, I didn't know what I liked as I had not experienced any of it: I knew what I was open to and what turned me on in idea, but I also knew that what I liked in concept I might not like in reality. Secondly, I was completely not versed in discussing my body, how my body felt, where I liked to be touched, and so on. I wasn't comfortable with any of that. I think the guy ended up pretty frustrated by the conversation. A lot of my answers were "I don't know." I didn't have any ideas to offer of what I might like to try. It took years and a lot of finding the right partner in order to suss out generally what I like. And that's another point I feel: just because you love someone doesn't mean they're a great sexual partner for you. This article goes more in-depth about virginity and the sullification felt after losing one's virginity by the author, which I found more interesting than I expected.
Romantically (or nonsexually even) my ex and I were great, but we just didn't have sexual chemistry. I guess she ended up finding it with a one night stand turned serious thing, because she broke up with me and has been dating that guy ever since (about 2 years), from what little she's tried throwing in my face (during the end of '12), it seems like they get on great. Grats to them, I wish them nothing but the best. And that's another point I feel: just because you love someone doesn't mean they're a great sexual partner for you.