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comment by _refugee_
_refugee_  ·  4114 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: I got married yesterday!

Congratulations! That's pretty awesome. I like the idea of eloping (though my family wouldn't...don't worry, though, guys, no dangers of that on the horizon). What I really don't like about marriage or marriage these days is how you're expected to spend an ungodly sum, and in fact, if you tell people you are organizing a wedding, you will. They will tell you you need this or that and honest-to-goodness they jack prices up on a lot of stuff, like catering, etc, just because they know it's a wedding. I'd much rather have the down payment on a house than a traditional wedding. (This is one of my wedding rants, haha.)

What do I think about marriage - I think it's a great thing or can be a great thing. I also think a lot of people don't take it seriously or don't realize the full ramifications of it. I don't think it's something I'm ready for and I don't konw if it's something I'm ever going to do.

Silly cultural prescription? Nah, I don't think so. Hey, at very minimum I always advocate people consider the tax breaks. I think there can be benefits if you do it right besides that as well. Having someone who will care for you when you are old? Great. Also, building that shared history...I think that's pretty neat. I'm sure it is less lonely.

Traditional reception and ceremony? Oh, honest, I never grew up thinking about getting married. I was engaged once (one of the reasons I have strong opinions about it and its potential success for me now) and I had no idea where to start with the wedding planning. I don't really give a crap about most of it. I think an outdoor wedding would be nice as I've been to two of those and those can be pretty fun. Really I think if I were to get married I would just want a giant informal party with all my friends where we drink. And maybe dance.

Trying not to think about it? – Yes, sure.  Not for me right now, at least.

Is it a super big deal? A lifelong commitment? Absolutely. Part of the reason I’m not for it for me right now. 

Is it boring? - Oh, I guess it can be. I don’t think I can speak to that.

Destined for divorce? Is it useful? – I’m one of those lucky kids whose parents are still relatively happily married so I can’t say it’s destined for divorce. Useful? Sure. Tax benefits, you know? But again I don’t know if I have enough experience to answer this question well.





Floatbox  ·  4113 days ago  ·  link  ·  

    (This is one of my wedding rants, haha.)

And one I'm on board with. My parents right now are trying to sponsor a honeymoon right now, and while it sounds like fun, I can't help but think the money could be better spent...

    Really I think if I were to get married I would just want a giant informal party with all my friends where we drink. And maybe dance.

I'm pretty sure this is what is going to end up happening! Definitely dancing though. There'll be enough drink.

user-inactivated  ·  4103 days ago  ·  link  ·  

    And one I'm on board with. My parents right now are trying to sponsor a honeymoon right now, and while it sounds like fun, I can't help but think the money could be better spent...
Then say so! Offer alternatives. Talk it over with your spouse -- does she feel the same way? In my relatively short time on earth I've come to realize that the lack of stress caused by some small financial security is much better than the temporary removal of stress that a honeymoon or other vacation can offer.

That said, this was ten days ago so you may already be on your honeymoon. If so, hope you're enjoying it!