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comment by kleinbl00
kleinbl00  ·  4152 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: [48H] As Your Attorney, I Advise You That Miranda Is Bullshit

Here's my experience with cops.

The overwhelming majority of the experience of any beat cop is boredom. The daily grind involves very little that really requires them to be cops. Nonetheless, "keeping the peace" is much more interesting than "watching the odometer tick over" and hey - that's the job.

Some cops take this opportunity to interact with people. Build rapport. Keep an eye on things while reminding you that the law is your friend. We had a guy in my town who went by Johnny Law. He pulled my buddy over once. No surprise; my buddy was driving a lifted Land Cruiser with 33" mud tires and was having fun driving on the sidewalk. Johnny Law asked my buddy why he was driving on the sidewalk; my buddy foolishly explained that with the new tires, the truck was hard to control.

Now - rather than issue my buddy a citation for driving a vehicle he couldn't keep off the damn sidewalk, Johnny Law gave him a look askance and advised him to try harder. Six months later, when Johnny Law arrived on the scene of the citation of my sister and two of my friends for starting a bonfire inside a piece of play equipment at the park, he advised the officer on the scene (Corcoran - or "Cock Ring" - we'll get back to him) that there would be lots of paperwork involved in hauling three minors down to the station for starting what was clearly a completely controlled burn inside a cement pipe in half an acre of sand and that since they would both be doing that paperwork.... hint hint...

Cock ring gave me a dirty look when I came to pick up my sister... and my two friends... from the police station ("taken into custody" is not the same thing as "arrested" - I think the "paperwork" angle finally worked) because one of Cock ring's favorite pastimes was following me around.

All night.

And into the morning.

Fucker once tailed me for seven hours, with five of my friends in the van, just waiting for me to give him a reason to pull me over and search the van. I never gave him one.

Cock ring also wanted to "keep the peace." His method of interaction was different than Johnny Law's, however, and a lot more of a pain in the ass. Just passing the time for the 99% of the time that the job is pure boredom. It's that other 1% where things get interesting.

I have no doubts whatsoever that I would have been shot dead had either of them feared for their lives, and no doubts whatsoever that had I flashed any attitude I would have spent the night in jail (a judge threatened me with that once for observing that "I'm sure it's in here somewhere" is not proper legal procedure when citing someone for a non-existent moving violation). The thing that makes cops cops is their handling of that transition between "sheer boredom" and "sheer terror." Not all cops are good at it. Just ask Oscar Grant. It is in your best interest to keep your interactions well clear of that transition at all times and in all places.

Trust me. You'll know when it's in your best interest to shut the fuck up. Even when I had two LAPD damn near break down my door to accuse me of domestic violence at 2am, I had full understanding of the necessity of open dialogue.





blackbootz  ·  4152 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I don't have any delusions that I'll teach a cop (or a mugger even) some lesson by baring arrogance or attitude. (I ain't no bitch, but) I can tell that it's not almost never worth it.

And I don't know a single cop's name. My stories with the police are run-of-the-mill drunk dumb-ass behavior. Once tried to convince a squad of 6 officers not to shut down a several hundred person party on a farm in southern Maryland because I was a cadet in training with an "Officer Johnson" from Baltimore. Lord, how in the fuck I wasn't arrested just for being that stupid is beyond me. slow-whistle for some of the near misses I've had.

I remember an episode from comedian Bill Burr's podcast about how much he's grown since his early twenty and teenage years. He remembers an age when he wouldn't've backed down from anything, not a cop or a loud mouth at a bar, he would've fisticuffed at the drop of the hat (this is how I'm remembering it). But now that he's older, he imagines that if he were at a bar, and some guy was being a total maniac and trying to start something, he would just leave. You never know, what if that guy just murdered his wife and a cop and booked it across state lines and he's stopping for a drink to calm his nerves and you're just the next dude in his way and anything could make him snap. You never know. It's better to default to caution, picking your battles is the sure sign of a wise man.

kleinbl00  ·  4152 days ago  ·  link  ·  

    Once tried to convince a squad of 6 officers not to shut down a several hundred person party on a farm in southern Maryland because I was a cadet in training with an "Officer Johnson" from Baltimore. Lord, how in the fuck I wasn't arrested just for being that stupid is beyond me. slow-whistle for some of the near misses I've had.

Dunno, man. I woulda let you slide on that one out of sheer respect for your giant brass balls. "Officer Johnson?" Nice one.