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We haven't quite gotten personal enough for private messages I'd say. But when the time comes for tears, we'll head that way. Plus, the more others see about what I'm thinking will allow them to provide a more specific answer. This is my favorite Alan Watts Speech. Especially what he says at 1:14. I don't want to be poor though. I want nothing to do with money. With lack of an attachment and dependence to money comes wealth in life I think.