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comment by kleinbl00
kleinbl00  ·  4258 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: After Gay Marriage, Why Not Polygamy? | VICE Australia / NZ

Misses the big point: Marriage in the United States is a powerful legal instrument for managing and coordinating civil, financial and legal contracts. The standards for "partnership" between two people have been well-defined and well-explored by 200 years of history. Extending those standards to people regardless of their gender is actually easier than discriminating based on gender.

Polygamy adds a layer of magnitude to the issue. Whereas before you've got two people and if they agree they're good, they don't they're divorced, adding one or more partners to the mix complicates the fuck out of things:

A) Jack and Jill are married. Jack is in an accident that puts him in a coma from which he may not recover. It is Jill's choice whether to sign the DNR papers and determine how to handle their estate ("the Hill").

B) Jack and Bill are married. Jack is in an accident that puts him in a coma from which he may not recover. Under 1man1woman, Bill is fucked. He may not even be able to visit Jack at the hospital. He has no legal right to settle Jack's affairs and is likely ineligible to remain on the Hill unless careful paperwork has been notarized ahead of time. THIS is the argument for marriage equality - Jack and Bill are a family and its discriminatory to rule Bill a second-class citizen simply for having a dick.

C) Jack and Jill and Bill are married. Jack is in an accident that puts him in a coma from which he may not recover. Jill and Bill get to fight about the DNR. Any decisions that get made have to be made by both of them. Unless one of them is "first wife." But that's not equal! What if we add Will to the mix? Now we've got a 2:1 voting bloc on all decisions. How do we separate property? Assuming durable power of attorney has not been assigned, how do we assign it? Longevity of bond? But what if Jack married Will because his relationship with Bill was loveless due to irreconcilable differences?

Who the fuck wants to deal with that shit?

Add in the hierarchy inherent in many polygamous relationships and the whole thing starts looking entirely too complicated for words. There's a reason polygamy died off in Europe but remained in Islam - title and land needs to be simple to follow and Europe was all about title and land. Islam, on the other hand, cared more about clan than geography and as a result, the social hierarchy was simpler. The more complex the holdings, the simpler the civil union. The simpler the holdings, the more complex the civil union.

Ask a divorce attorney how much fun he'd have dealing with a polygamous divorce. Watch his eyes light up. And then know, in your heart of hearts, "Why not polygamy."





MechtaTheMicrodot  ·  4255 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Yeah, we would have to completely rethink so much that I don't think it's worth it. I mean think about any legal difficulty or ambiguity you can, now add complications like paternity rights for children.

Since me and my wife got married a decade ago, we've had 5 girlfriends and a boyfriend between the two of us. Two of the girlfriends ended up being serious longer relationships... and I still don't think the effort that would go into setting up the legal architecture is worth it.

Frankly long term relationships with more then 2 people rarely happen of their own volition. When they do it can be super intense and really beautiful, but I think most people who are actually in those relationships are willing to accept the reality that legal recognition in the form of marriage isn't likely to happen. We certainly where/are.

Although it would be nice to be able to have more flexibility when immigrating. Marriage gives you tons of added status there, and having a relationship with more then 2 people when your trying to move to another country becomes a big issue.

Usually relationships like this are well worth any trouble we've personally encountered or can envision though. No one says you have to get married to do so. Nothing requires marriage be a part of your romantic relationships in the first place, and in many countries a good lawyer can help making sure non-married partners have most if not all of the rights afforded by the law to married couples.