"You're doxed, you wake up one day to hundreds of hate mail, image macros of you are being made on Reddit or 9GAG, you're being recognized on the street, and there are reporters trying to interview you."

Gee, that sounds vaguely familiar.

IMO, one should never speak to the media in that situation unless you have media training and, preferably, a professional publicist working with you. The average person is not prepared to handle an interview when the public is already 100% against them. The best of all evils is probably to lay low until the initial outrage fades, consult a publicist if you have the money, then work on taking back your search results with positive material. There are people out there who've had to change their names to escape Internet notoriety, and that should be on the table--between your name and your ability to get a job, the name doesn't put food on your table.

Unless you actually want to just be a reality television star and you have no other career aspirations, in which case accept every interview request that gets you on TV and behave as outrageously as possible.