- The sky loomed bigger and my car seemed farther away and I stood, wobbling a little under the serous weight of the drag. I raised the cigarette again, drew on it, and the sun seemed to jerk upward, like a fish tugged on a line. I walked to my car, extra slow, savoring the glacial cool in my mouth, the burn in my chest.
Excellent writing.
I just picked up smoking this year. Basically all of the managers at my place of employment were smokers so being a bit of a kiss-ass at times I started, just so I could go out for the frequent 'Focus Breaks' as they're called. What I've come to learn is that smokers have a really interesting mentality about it. Not everyone uses it for the same reasons. I started to get closer to my bosses, but now I use it to make friends. I can stand outside and ask whoever else is out there about what films they've watched recently or really anything. There's still a barrier between you and everyone else, but it's much easier to climb over that insecurity when you have to borrow a guys lighter or he bums a cigarette from you. The openness is something I never would have expected.
Absolutely fantastic read, thanks for posting this. Perfectly encapsulated how I felt as a smoker and how I felt quitting. I drop in and out of smoking. It's a bad habit, my family hate it and so do some of my friends, but the connection you make with people, the new friends you meet, the rituals you develop around it. That first drag with a coffee in the sun. That brisk walk on a winters day. That beer and a cig outside a bar. The problem with trying to quit is, for me, the fact that I don't want to stop. I know it's bad for me, I know it's a stupid, expensive addiction, but I feel I quit because of those reasons, like those reasons force me to stop. I need to quit when it's for me, not when other people tell me "this is bad".
There's something to be said about the social aspect of going outside and smoking. A shared shame does wonders for overcoming social barriers, and the nicotine takes the edge off. It gives you an excuse to leave a situation, to talk to people, to 'accidentally' run into someone on your way down to smoke. I've been smoking for two years now, and although I plan to quit in the near future, I've met a few people who would turn out to be good friends huddled around a corner trying to light a cigarette.
It's been a year and a half since I quit smoking and I miss it every day. Waking up in the morning, pouring a hot cup of coffee, stepping outside to my deck, lighting a cigarette, and enjoying the sun. Those were the days... It's a shame they're so bad for you.
Jesus I want a cigarette. And I've got tobacco in front of me, but no papers or tips. Anyway, it's nice to see a new smoker's perspective, when smoking is becoming more and more unpopular. I've been having the odd cigarette for years, but only recently have I really started smoking (the result of hanging out with a lot of French people; they're like chimneys) and all of my non-smoking friends are shocked. It's so true that it's like a club. I mean, smoking can put some people off of you, but other people open up immediately if you smoke with them.