Ah fuck. Really sorry to hear about his passing. I know you hadn't met him but I'm sure there was plenty of connection through what you both loved to do and were planning on. A part of me wonders if I could handle the dating scene these days. I met my partner via Tinder in late 2016, we were together early 2017, and have a house together now. And a cat. The cat is the really important part. But .. I recall enjoying the initial dating phase, learning about someone new, that emotional spice where things click. Wondering if they would click. I think it'd hate it now, aside from probably comparing everyone to my hypothetical ex, I don't think I'd have it in me for flings and one nighters these days.
You can't pretend that this stuff doesn't have an element of danger or that people aren't going to die. But 4 people in 2 years is...a lot...thanks. The dating part is awful, I think some of it is coming out of a 3 year relationship I am not very sharp at even flirting with new people and going through that whole song and dance. And I don't really know if I even want to? I am so busy with hobbies from running to climbing to skiing that it's like...I can just keep doing those things and having just as good of a time. But that's also how you end up 45 and single (I am far away from 45 years old).
It's only been a few months since the breakup, yeah? Coupled with shifting to a new place, trying to get settled into everything - I'm not surprised you're not in the right mindset for it! Same hobbies but a new area might mean you wind up meeting someone organically? Either way, I feel you. The feelings you're describing make a lot of sense!